Here’s me, blogging. Entering the world of increased communication, public displays, and creating a space where I can tell about myself and my family. Telling myself that people care to read about me, they really do. 🙂 Anyway, this is my first attempt at a post. I’d like to post daily (which will be a lot easier when I’m off for the summer!), and I welcome comments, followers, constructive criticism. Enjoy my Now and Then format! I want to share what’s going on today and what I went through in the past.
NOW: I’m going to start blogging about yesterday actually. I had such a great day with the twins, and I am really, REALLY looking forward to summer vacation now. I mean, I was before anyway, but also the prospect of being ‘stuck’ with my two little
hooligans darlings, all day every day was a little daunting. But just look at these faces! How could I not want to be ‘stuck’ with them?
Here’s my Ariel, attempting to blow bubbles. She’s SO into being independent right now. So she didn’t want mommy to blow them. However, she thinks you put your mouth right on the wand so it wasn’t really working out too well (in my opinion, but what do I know, I’m just the grown-up). She had fun though, so obviously I don’t know what I’m talking about. And her mouth was probably squeaky-clean.
In the meantime, my William was amusing himself at the sand/water table. Mostly staying under the little umbrella, which was good because it was HOT and SUNNY, even at 9 in the morning! He was on the water side…filling and dumping, filling and dumping. He’s not a big fan of getting his hands sandy. Yet.
So, on what seems like a rarity these days in Buffalo, we had a lovely SUNNY day together. This is now.
This is the ‘then’ part of my post today.
At the very beginning of my pregnancy journey (summer 2006) I distinctly remember talking to my OB/GYN and her asking me (as she every year for the past couple of years) if I had given any thought to trying to get pregnant yet. Well, yes, yes, I want to try. I want a baby. Now. And her saying to me that when a person (woman) decides they want a baby, they wanted a baby Yesterday. Like it should be here by now. Like we don’t want to be waiting a stinking year by charting and temping and waiting and hoping as the seconds tick by and you’re waiting every month for something you hope isn’t going to happen and if it is even 2 hours late (which you know because you’ve been charting and temping and waiting) you start getting your hopes up that maybe you’re pregnant. And you try to tell yourself, because you are a rational person, that it’s only a little late. But, you’re not feeling your usual symptoms. And you’re never late. And you know you must be pregnant but you know you must not get your hopes up. And you know it doesn’t usually happen on the first try. Or even the first year. But I had my hopes up. Every time. And I got disappointed, even the first time, even though I knew it wasn’t “rational”, even though I knew, after all of the reading I did, that it takes 85% of couples a year to conceive. I knew all that. Every time. And maybe you do too. Maybe you’re pretending, even to yourself, that your hopes aren’t up, that you aren’t going to be disappointed if it doesn’t happen this month. But you can’t help it. I couldn’t help it. I felt that I never wanted anything more and it was completely out of my control even though I was trying to control it by charting and temping and waiting and hoping and being in the “right” position and at the right time and relaxing and all the rest. And it seemed like nothing was helping. Why why why? That was then.
Question of the Day: Do you have many sunny days where you live, or do you need to cherish every one? What do you do on a ‘free’ sunny day?