NOW: We haven’t had any rainy days this summer. Finally, one hit. What the F am I supposed to do when I can’t even go outside with these 2?
We went out for a little while in the morning, before the rain hit. But it was dark. And thundering. I figured we better come inside.
We were sitting at the kitchen table, eating a snack, and I was in panic mode. What will we do all day? My first thought is turn on the TV. Ok, last resort. I was feeling pretty desperate. I don’t know why…..what did we do all winter? And it’s not like we don’t have millions of toys (not an exaggeration – friends whose kids are in daycare say we have more toys than the daycare).
OK, so what would we do? COLOR! That will hold for a little while. 🙂
It wasn’t too long ago that Will was more interested in eating crayons than coloring with them. Ariel had caught on a little faster that they taste disgusting. Now, it’s much better because I don’t have to watch him like a hawk; making sure he doesn’t end up with green teeth again. It’s hard for me to remember that this is an ok activity now.
They colored for longer than I thought. Whew! They really ended up having a good time, and even asked again to color later! My little babies are growing up so fast.
However, later on, they were not so agreeable. Well, Will was not so agreeable. I don’t know what was going on with him but he was being a bit of a monster. I am happy to report that I did not raise my voice once. He just kept whining and moaning and making this super annoying groaning sound. I had no idea what was wrong with him. I kept asking him over and over and over. He’d play for like 5 minutes, and all the sudden be sitting and moaning again. My kids have a lot of language skills – if something was wrong he should be able to kinda tell me.
Finally, around 4:00, I took him very gently by the shoulders so he would look right at me. I went through every body part, asking if it hurt. He kept saying no. I asked if he was tired. I asked if he was hungry – YES! And he ran to his highchair. Well for goodness sake kid all you had to do was TELL MOMMY! It was so frustrating. Probably the most frustrated I’ve been with either of them all summer.
I gave him some blueberries as a little snack because it was only about an hour and half until dinner. I know that at this age, if they say they’re hungry they really are. I figured at least I was giving him a healthy option and if it meant he ate a little less at dinner, oh well, it was fruit! Ariel had some cantelope.
When Tim came home he asked if I was going to try and get a job next summer. Ha Ha.
After they were in bed, I got on the Wii Fit to weigh-in. Gained 0.7 lbs. This was in addition to the 2 lbs. I had supposedly gained this weekend.
I went running.
And it helped all of my frustration from the day just melt away. I did my normal route in 28 minutes – usually it takes me at least 30. I don’t know why I just discovered this whole running thing. I wish I had figured out sooner how much I like it! HA!
When I came back the boy was still crying in his crib. Tim and I finished our strength training and yoga together and then I finally I went in to check on him. He was instantaneously quiet when I walked in. Hm, very suspicious. Obviously there was nothing “wrong”. He just wanted company. Which I guess is ok every once in a while. I calmed him down and then went to take a shower. When I got out…..crying again. I stayed a little longer this time, rubbing his back, waiting until he fell asleep. I was glad I got to go for that run because it helped me keep my sanity for this.
Sometimes I feel so guilty when I’m frustrated. Sometimes I feel so guilty when I’m favoring one over the other. All day, Ariel was fine. Happy, playing, cute. And at times, I wished it was just her and I for a couple hours and that I didn’t have to deal with the other one. I feel like I didnt even get to spend time with her because I was trying to figure out what in the hell was wrong with Will.
Patience helps me get over my guilt I guess. If I was snapping at them or showing my frustration, I would feel more guilty. He wasn’t meaning to be frustrating and I just kept that perspective in mind all day. I counted to 10 in my head. A lot. I used my patient-mommy voice. Because if they know I’m frustrated, they get even more frustrated….which is even worse.
I guess I’m just venting. And bragging. Because I kept my cool. All Day Long. And by the end of the day I don’t know how I did it. And by the end of the day I was ready to get a part-time job not only for next summer, but maybe even the rest of this one. 🙂 This is now.
THEN: Oh, the heartburn. I didn’t have any all pregnancy. I know it’s a symptom, so I wasn’t concerned. At first. It was a Thursday night. I woke up with a pain in my chest. Heartburn. I tried sitting up a little in bed to ease the feeling. It was not comfortable for my stomach. I laid down again. I sat up again. I laid down again. Finally, Tim woke up. Kinda what I was aiming for, without having to actually wake him. The feeling was becoming unbearable. He got up and looked in the medicine cabinet to see if I could take anything. I didn’t want to risk it. Not yet.
So, he did what any normal person does in “this day in age”. Looked on the internet. Milk. Crackers. Sit up.
I was so tired. I just wanted to lay down in my bed. I did not want to be drinking milk. I did not want to be eating crackers. I did not want to be sitting up. I wanted to be sleeping.
He went and got me some milk and crackers.
I ate and drank while sitting up in bed. He laid back down. What else was he supposed to do, right? He fell asleep. I tried laying down again. Way worse.
I decided to go hang out in the rocking chair in one of the baby rooms. It was the room we were going to put them both in at first when they came home. I rocked and ate more crackers and thought about my little ones in my belly. They were probably sleeping. Just like my husband. I kinda tried to rest my eyes. I fell asleep a little bit, here and there, only a light sleep. The pain was not really subsiding, even with milk and crackers and sitting up. Oh well, it was just one night. I could nap tomorrow.
I tried not to worry about it. Lots of people get heartburn while pregnant. The internet said so.
When Tim got up the next morning, early, I was still in the rocking chair. Still awake. The pain was still there. What if something was wrong? I hadn’t had heartburn this whole 7 months, why suddenly now? We went downstairs and he asked if I wanted breakfast but I wasn’t hungry, I couldn’t eat. It would hurt. He suggested I call the doctor. He never suggests I call the doctor. I never call the doctor. Doctors just tell you you’re fine and send you on your way and you feel stupid for even asking. Just because I had heartburn all night and this morning was no reason to call the doctor. He wasn’t even there yet, it was only 7 in the morning. I was fine. That was then.