NOW: So, Summer happened. Did anyone see it go by? I must have missed it. Although I have to say it was probably one of the best summers of my life. And it’s my only real excuse for not blogging as much as I originally planned.
I want to take a moment to be sentimental. I’m not really a sentimental person in real life. It’s not that I hide my emotions, I’m just more logical than emotional.
But when I think about this summer with my children, I get an ache in my chest. Especially right now, because at this moment they’re not even right in front of me.
I guess I should be grateful, and I am, that at least I’m a teacher and I get to spend the summer with my twins. Most moms, who work a full year, obviously don’t geta whole two months off with theirs. I am lucky, and I am grateful, but all I can think about is that it was too short.
Now that I only am with them a few hours a day before they go to bed….and that involves making dinner and eating dinner…..I miss them with every fiber of my being. I wish I could wake up, throw on all our bathing suits and spend the morning in the backyard again. I cannot honestly remember the last time we played outside. Ever since school started (a mere 2 weeks ago), our weekends have been booked and we can’t even enjoy the fall weather that’s hitting.
I feel like every day I come home from work and I missed out on something. They are living their lives without me most of the day and I’m missing it!
I’m sure this is the lament of every working mom. I’m not trying to throw myself a pity-party, I’m just re-realizing how much I love and miss those little people at home and sharing that with you. I never realized I could love any two people so much.
Another quick note about school starting; I have been wearing my hair down again, not in a ponytail. So, guess who stopped asking for ponytails/pigtails in her hair every morning? Ariel. Took me until today to realize that’s probably why she hasn’t been asking. 🙂 She wants to be like mommy. What an honor.
I am going to do a more detailed August recap soon. It’s just been hard to find the time and motivation to get on the darn computer and blog. Sorry. Again. This is now.
THEN: I was in the hospital again Saturday night, by myself. Tim was going to come back Sunday morning because he decided he couldn’t go to work while I was in such a state of the unknown.
On Saturday afternoon they asked me what I had done to change my diet because of my gestational diabetes. What gestational diabetes? I was never told I had failed my second blood test as well as my first. I had not changed my diet at all. I would have done anything to keep myself and my babies healthy during the pregnancy. I would have eaten whatever they told me to eat and stayed away from anything I had to avoid. But I never knew I had to. After calling and calling about my results, and being reassured that if there was a problem I would be informed. Well, there was a problem. And because I didn’t fix that problem, it became a bigger problem.
On Sunday morning a high-risk doctor came to talk to us, but Tim wasn’t there yet. I had severe pre-ecclampsia. I was basically a ticking time bomb and I never knew it. That was then.