Life with Twins

Archive for the ‘random thoughts’ Category

Put Your Kids to Work Day

NOW:  I have a confession.  The real reason I had kids.  I hate housework.  I like cleaning; like straightening up and organizing.  Not dusting.  Not laundry.  Not washing the floor.  These are important life skills.  I figure, get ’em while they’re young.  They like to think they’re helping, I like to have things cleaned without having to do it myself.  Here’s a compilation of what I’ve taught them to do (so far).

 Carry my stuff into the house.  Why should I always be the one carrying everything?


Mowing the lawn.  Now, obviously not with the real mower (yet), but it’s best to teach them while they still think they’re having fun.

Cleaning up after the dogs.  Or, more likely, cleaning up after themselves after they’ve played in and/or dumped the dog water. 

Peeling corn on the cob.  Now, with these little bits she gets off, it takes about 10x as long.  But, it’s one less thing I have to do.  And, it keeps them busy for 10x as long.  Win-win.

Weeding – another thing I absolutely hate.  They think they’re pretty flowers.  Yep, go ahead and think that.  Just keep pulling them up.

Salad spinner.  Do you have one of these for your lettuce?  Best kitchen gadget ever.  Even better when I don’t even have to use it.  Sure, I have to put it on the floor for them to reach and monitor the sharing.  Worth it.

And laundry.  They dumped the basket for me.  Nice.  They helped me sort by telling me whose was whose.  They even tried to fold.

These both went into the Mommy pile after careful inspection.

I’ve also had them dust the dining room table before, but they couldn’t really reach very well, so that will have to wait I guess. 

They were very proud of themselves.  And that’s what really matters.  Or, what really matters is that someday soon I will not have to do any more housework.  The real reason I had kids.  This is now. 

THEN:  I remember having one conversation with my sister about fertility issues; one.  Now, I tried to keep everyone’s advice in perspective, I really did.  But she said to me, “well, it’s not like you had a miscarriage or something”.  This is probably the most thoughtless, hurtful said to me during that time of my life.  Probably the ONLY thoughtless, hurtful thing said to me.  I’m sure she just didn’t understand.  She wasn’t trying to be thoughtless and hurtful.  She didn’t even realize it, being so far removed from such a situation.  You can’t control what people say, only how you react to it and what you can learn from it.

I’ve said before that unless you’ve gone through it, you don’t know what it’s like.  It’s true, I did not have any miscarriages while trying to get pregnant (unless you count the chemical pregnancy, which I don’t.)  I have no idea what that would be like.  But…..I also know I wouldn’t go around telling people who’ve experienced it, “well, at least it didn’t take you over 2 years to get pregnant”.  I guess one thing I really had to learn and remember was that people always mean well.  They really do.  And even when my sister (5 years younger than me) said that to me, I just swallowed – to try and get my heart out of my throat.  I said “mm-mm” because I was afraid to open my mouth.  I guess, looking back, I could have found a nice way to let her know it was insensitive, but I couldn’t in the moment.  

To paraphrase: Is it better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all?  I think both are equally heart-wrenching in their own ways.  No matter what type of situation you’re talking about, who you’re talking to, or what your experiences have been.  That was then.

Who Knew?

A Link-Up to 18  Years to Life.

What did I not imagine myself saying as a mother?

  To Will (constantly): Get your hands out of your pants, you need to leave your little weenie pointing down or you pee all over yourself.

To Ariel: Do NOT lick your hands after putting them in the doggy water!

To both: Yes, I know, you don’t have to show me, Mommy knows where to wipe after going pee-pee, thank you.  (Why are my bathroom habits such great entertainment!?)

On His Farm He Had Some Guys, and Princesses; E-I-E-I-O

NOW:  I love this game I made up.  I’m so clever.  The twins have a Fisher-Price farm that you can crawl through.  It makes noises, there’s vegetables (a triangle orange carrot, a circle red radish, and a purple square…?), eggs, a little radio.  It’s cute.  Especially when you’re stuck inside on a rainy day.  Especially when the song starts “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”…..and cuts off…..but your 22-month old daughter chimes in with “e-i-e-i-o” right on cue.

Anyway, the Farm Game.  It gets requests now.  (although farm comes out sounding like arm, so I have to actually be paying attention).

Ariel and Will bring Mommy all the “guys”.  Their word.  All the Sesame Street Characters, plus a few other little stuffed animals that have worked their way into this particular toy box.  Will dumps them in a pile and puts the box back behind the farm.

They now also have included the Disney Princess dolls that they have.  Then, we take turns having the guys and the princesses come to the door of the farm and asking if they can please come in (it teaches manners, too).  One of the twins opens the door, and the guy says thank you, and jumps inside.  They like eating the veggies and eggs.  Whole eggs, I know, it’s weird.

  In fact, here’s Grover now, ready to munch on a nice, tasty egg.  Complete with sound effects; YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!  After the guy gets put into the farm and eats his (or her) fill, they get put back in their respective toy box.  Great system.  I especially love when it’s Ariel the Little Mermaid’s turn – Will calls her “dister” (sister) because of her name.  Insert AWWWW, here.  And yes, my daughter is named after the Little Mermaid. 

After the farm game they quietly played with the stacking cups and the rings on the stick. 

William will just continuously lift and drop the cups inside each other trying to figure out how to nestle them correctly.  But doesn’t get frustrated. 

Ariel grabbed the rings first.  I layed them all out on the carpet and told her which color to grab first.  She did EVERY ONE!  SHE RECOGNIZES COLORS!!!!!  Blue, green, yellow, orange, red.  Then she started putting them on incorrectly on purpose, and saying “no no no”, removing it, and putting the right one on.  My little buggers amaze me sometimes.  This is now.

THEN:  My second insemination using the injectable drugs was scheduled for  February 6, 2009 ( I remember because it was two days before my birthday).  I had 6 large follicles again.  The nurses questioned whether I wanted to proceed with this many.  It was risky.  I could end up with multiples.  Multiple multiples!  But I had to.  I had to take the chance.  They reminded me again about the possibility of sextuplets, or the chance that if the eggs became fertilized we had the option to do selective reduction.  I understood.  I couldn’t let a whole ‘nother month go by without even doing anything.  Plus, I had already used up my 2 months of injectables recommended by the doctor, so what would happen to me if I didn’t try this time? 

Tim and I took the day off, as usual, for my insemination.  He went with me, as usual.  I don’t know if it was the nurse, or my weirdly curved cervix, or what, but it was the most painful one yet.  She tried and tried and tried to get that little tube in.  She tried a different tube, a stiffer one.  She got another nurse to come help.  By now, I was sweating bullets, trying not to cry, trying to remember to breathe, trying not to say “no, stop, nevermind, I don’t wannna do it anymore”.  Because I had to do it.  I had to have a baby.  Tim stood by my head the entire time, pain on his face because I was in pain.  He asked if I wanted them to stop.  I shook my head violently.  NO.  The stiffer tube finally worked.  It was a little more uncomfortable than normal, but not unbearable.  I laid on the table for my 15 minutes before getting up.  Tim said, maybe it’s like a sign or something, because you had to suffer so much this time.  Maybe.

The nurse told me I shouldn’t exercise or have sex for the next few days.  What?  They didn’t tell us that last time.  She said because the follicles grow SO big with the injectables, there was a chance of them twisting or popping if I did activities that were too vigorous.  She said take it easy for the next couple of weeks if I wanted.  Just to be safe.  And if I didn’t get my period by February 19th, call for bloodwork. 

Tim and I left and went to Panera for breakfast.  We had Asiago cheese bagels with Sun-Dried Tomato spread.  Then we went across the parking lot to The Hallmark Store because I had seen a cute lion on a commercial and Tim wanted to buy it for me.  (I collect lions).  He was pink and red and had a heart-shaped mane for Valentine’s Day.  When you pulled his tail he Yowled and shook.  I think this might be the only Valentine’s Day gift Tim had ever given me.  We don’t usually celebrate Valentine’s Day because it’s so close to my birthday.  (Although, if he’s reading, flowers are always nice!!!). 

Two days later, my parents and sister came over for pizza and cake to celebrate my birthday.  I remember wondering if I was pregnant.  I remember getting my picture taken as they sang “happy birthday” and thinking, maybe I’m pregnant in this picture.  My first picture of my pregnancy.  Maybe.  I thought about it constantly, as usual.  That was then.


NOW:  Did you ever wish you had superpowers?  Mine would be the ability to go without sleep.  Sure, there’s more glamorous things out there.  Time travel.  Teleporting.  Laser eyes (although I already have those, but I only use them for good).  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love sleeping.  It’s like my third favorite activity (behind eating, and playing with the kids).  But sleeping just wastes SO MUCH TIME.  And, I’m always tired anyway. 

The 5 cups of coffee a day are not helping anymore…I need to up my intake.  So not only do I waste 7 hours a day sleeping, but it’s still not enough!  It would be so great if I could just constantly feel refreshed and awake and gain those 7 hours back.  I’d get so much accomplished.

Coffee....You Can Sleep When You're Dead!

Especially if Tim and the twins still had to sleep. 

We have a lot of explorations going on in our house lately.  We explore with hats.  Anything and everything can BE a hat. 

Anything and everything can WEAR a hat.

I suppose it doesn’t matter to SOME people that it’s 80 degrees out.  Hats are in style, Mama.  This is now.

THEN:  I know the term “empty nest” usually applies to older people whose children have grown up and moved out of the house.  Before I had my children, my house felt like an empty nest already.  I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever get to have that real empty nest feeling 20 or 30 years down the road.  Would I ever have kids that would grow up and move out?  Would I ever be able to complain about sleepless nights with my baby?  Would I ever be stuck eating hospital food for 2 days because I had given birth?  Would I ever be fat-in-a-good-way?  Would I ever be so busy that I felt like my head was spinning because my life was so full?  And the biggest, most obvious one; What if I can’t have children?   Everything would remind me.  Obviously people with babies/children, pregnant women.  But even not so obvious things; weddings – would I ever have my little daughter dance with her daddy?  Dusting – I really hate dusting – would I ever be able to train my little boy/girl to help with the chores?  Disney – would I ever be going to Disney World, or the Disney Cruise, or be able to share all things Disney with a little one?

All of these thoughts and more swam around in my head continuously.  I don’t think I was ever busy enough that they weren’t there.  They would be pushed to the side occasionally, but never to the back of my head.  The other thought that plagued me was “relax.”  I’ve mentioned this before.  This is everyone’s reaction when you tell them you’re having a little trouble getting pregnant.  They mean well (keep telling yourself that).  They really do.  They don’t know what else to say.  Unless they’ve gone through it before, but in my case I didn’t have anyone like that.  Even when we tried to relax – booked our Disney Cruise, ok, we’re going to relax.  It was also another reminder of; am I ever going to have a child to send off to play in the Oceaneers Lab while I go sit by the pool with Tim?

Going through Unexplained Infertility was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  I think the reason is because it was COMPLETELY out of my control.  In the past other things that were difficult suddenly seemed easy because I could control my good grades, or how I looked (to a certain extent), or how to deal with my family/friends and issues that arose.  The only way I could control my infertility issues was to **try** different methods – drugs, tests, procedures.  But it was still just trying, no guarantees anything would work.  That’s why relaxing doesn’t seem like a viable option.  And that’s why those questions keep coming back to haunt you all day, all night.  And that’s why you can’t relax.  And there’s those questions.  Relax.  But…..what if I can’t?  It was a vicious cycle.  One of my mantras became the first 2 lines of the Kanye West song “Stronger”  “That, that, that, that, that don’t kill me, can only make me stronger.  I need you to hurry up now, cuz I can’t wait much longer.”  I often sang it to my (empty) belly.  That was then.

Question: What super power would you want?  Why?