Life with Twins

Archive for the ‘Wii Fit’ Category

6 Days Until My Birthday!! (plus some news!)

No-Twin Thursday (yeah, I know, I know)

NOW: Guess what I did (ok, I haven’t done it yet, but I’m going to do it, really)!!!  I signed up (will be) for the Buffalo Half-Marathon!!!  Whoo-hoo!!!!

Ok, I haven’t signed up yet.  But I am serious about it.  I even had a couple of meetings regarding the topic.  First with Tim, then with my friend/running buddy, Kate. 

Kate and I talked about signing up for this months ago.  Then, we kind of casually talked about it a couple of weeks ago (as in; how’s your running going….not so good… neither…..).  But I had a training plan that a colleague had shared with me that didn’t start until February 12.  That seemed like a million miles away, so no big deal.  

Luckily, Kate is more on the ball than me.  I want to do it, I have plans to do it, I got her involved in the first place, but then sometimes I just don’t follow through.  Or I put things off until it’s too late.  Kate texted me Wednesday implying that we needed to get our shit together and figure out what the hell we’re going to do about this training plan that starts in two weeks.  Especially since neither of us has been running since our last 5K in the end of September.

I was lazy calm about it.  I said I’d talk to Tim about a good day for her and I to get together and have a little dinner and discussion.  I was thinking like next week…two weeks….

But then I said to myself; “self, get your ass in gear”.  So I did.  We met at Panera last night and planned out a calendar.  I’m a little less flexible than her as far as time because of the twins and Tim not wanting to stay home with the twins.  We decided running in the morning, 3 times a week would work for our shorter runs and then a weekend day (usually Sunday) for the longer ones.  And any day we can’t run together outside for some reason, we have to check in with each other that we got our running in alone that day.

I talked to Tim first.  He’s my workout buddy and I’m going to be abandoning him 3 times a week!  He basically said that was fine as long as I got him out of bed first so that he’ll get up and do the Wii Fit without me.  The other two days I’ll do the Wii Fit with him.  Until the sun starts coming up in the morning and then he’ll go running by himself those two days so that he can do some 5K runs this summer.

Kate and I are also going to run an 8K Shamrock Run in between.  It works out that it’s the same weekend as we are supposed to do a 5 mile run anyway and it will be good motivation.

Normally, we don’t sign up for races ahead of time.  But that’s mostly because the 5K races don’t have a big difference in price even if you wait until the last minute.  But this is a little different.  Not so much for the Shamrock Run, but the Half especially.  So, we’ll save some money (always nice, especially when she has a wedding to pay for in 6 months!) and again, more motivation.  If we’re already out the money we won’t use the rain or something silly as an excuse, right?

I feel so motivated after this little plan!  I ordered a healthier option while at Panera (garden vegetable soup as opposed to broccoli cheddar) and did not get that 420 calorie Caramel latte I wanted so much. 

Perhaps this is just the motivation I needed.  Hopefully it will stand up to Birthday Week dinners!!!  (6 days until my Birthday! Yay!)  This is now.

THEN: It was SO hard that I couldn’t drive after my C-section for 6 weeks.  I needed to get to the hospital!  Luckily, my parents took me every day that Tim was working.  He had decided he would use his time off for when the twins actually came home, rather than now.  I had to rely on my parents’ schedule but usually it was ok.  My mornings were spent at home alone sleeping, pumping, watching tv, pumping, doing some light chores, pumping, eating, and pumping.  Mostly pumping.  And waiting.  Waiting for the time when my mom and dad would come get me and take me to the babies.  It was stressful, but relaxing.  Does that make sense?

I’m not a worrier.  Whatever will be, will be.  And some things are out of my control so worrying isn’t going to solve the problem.  Was I worried about the twins?  Yes, of course.  But they were healthy.  It had been ME that was the problem, not them.  So was I worried, yes, because they were in the hospital and I had all the what if questions…..what if they didn’t gain enough weight, what if their bodies wouldn’t regulate their temperature, what if they didn’t learn how to eat, what if their oxygen levels dropped, what if a crazed nurse stole them from the hospital like a Lifetime movie?

These thoughts were in my mind, yes.  But they were always in the absolute back of my mind.  They didn’t stop me from enjoying and appreciating everything else I was given.  Especially my sleep and freedom.  I had two newborns and I was sleeping through the night and had loads of freetime.  I try to look on the bright side.  🙂  That was then.

Winter Rut

NOW:  I’m really in a bad winter rut.  Not emotionally.  Physically.  And it’s discouraging because I feel like in the last 5 weeks or so, I’ve undone everything I worked for.  Between January 2011 through Mid-December, I was really really good about exercising.  Over the summer I even started running and ran a few 5K’s.  I felt great.  And along with the exercising I was watching what I ate….not obsessively, but just paying attention to my hunger cues and adding more veggies and healthier options.

I knew things would go downhill at the holidays.  With going out shopping came going out to dinner.  We still were sort of trying to find better options but we were still busy enough that we weren’t cooking at home as often and maybe not paying as much attention.  Now, I’m not talking about going to a fast-food place and getting fatty or fried foods!  Even if we ran to Applebee’s we didn’t get a big cheeseburger with fries along with an appetizer or something.  We didn’t pick off of the Weight Watchers menu either, but we tried to get grilled chicken or steak with veggies.   And we almost always cut our meal in half and take half home. 

Things really fell apart the week AFTER Christmas.  I was off and had no intention of getting up at 5:30 in the morning to exercise.  That was my first mistake I guess.  It was more important for me to get that sleep.  Which actually ended up working out ok because with Will being SO sick (broncialitis/pneumonia), he was waking me up VERY often in the night and I felt exhausted anyway.

Ok, so the New Year came and my first day back was January 3rd, but I still felt honestly just exhausted.  I didn’t catch up on sleep at all the week before and I was definitely feeling run down.  So, again, I chose sleep over exercise.  All week.  Again.  I felt refreshed.  And not guilty.  Not good.  Because justifying it can be a big mistake.  I know that from past experiences.

The week of the 9th was better.  We got up Monday, Tuesday, took a break Wednesday, got up Thursday.  Friday…..not so much…..Will had been waking me up like every half-hour during the night and then the dog woke me up once because he threw up.  When my alarm went off, I cried.  Tim said this was an extenuating circumstance and I should get the extra hour of sleep.  So I did.

Starting Sunday, Tim was sick.  Like puking sick.  So…..I was very busy.  I was on my own with the kids and then I also needed to take care of him. He didn’t need much, just an occasional glass of water or some crackers.  I did have to make dinner, which he had been planning on doing, and then he didn’t eat even though he requested Lipton soup.  The kids loved it though!  I wasn’t sure how that would work out…..they’ve had it before but only by taking little sips off of our spoons.  But I gave them more noodles/less broth and they did VERY well!  I was impressed.  So that was good.

Monday I had off, Tim was still sick, I didn’t even consider exercising.  Again, setting a bad precedent for the week.  Tuesday morning, my alarm was all set.  But my resolve wasn’t.  And this is where my problem lies.  I haven’t exercised all week.  Tim had an excuse, he’s still pretty weak.  He finally ate just yesterday.  Here’s my main problem – my motivation seems to be gone.  And it feels like it’s been gone for a while.  I love(d) exercising.  I love feeling great.  I love getting up in the morning and feeling like I accomplished something.  I love when my pants don’t feel tight (which they do right now).  So what is MY PROBLEM!!!!!   I’m so mad at myself, but apparently not mad enough to do something about it.  Even today, I said to myself, meh, it’s already Thursday, why bother getting up to exercise now.  WHAT!?  Ridiculous.  And I know it’s ridiculous.  But I’m still not doing anything about it.

I also have a terrible terrible habit of eating if I can get away with it.  For some reason, when I get home from work and I’m starting to make dinner, I almost always get very shaky.  Like low-blood-sugar or something.  What I should do, is have a nice, high-protein snack as soon as I get home and that will hold me off until dinner.  But I don’t.  I wait until I’m shaky, light-headed, hot/cold, and irritable.  Then I have 3 handfuls of cashews (probably 3 servings right there), a couple pieces of chocolate, and maybe even some tomatoes or something if I’m making salads.  So not only am I ingesting all of these calories after eating good all day, plus I didn’t exercise, plus it’s only like an hour before dinner. 

I just don’t understand how I know it’s bad and wrong  and I feel physically awful especially in the area of pants being tight.  And yet I don’t feel guilty enough to fix it.  Maybe writing down these confessions will help.  Maybe you guys should all comment (yay, please comment!) about how I need to get my lazy self back to exercising and not gorging on cashews every evening before Tim gets home.

Not only that, but I know part of my decrease in motivation comes from the fact that I worked so hard for 11 months and now it’s all undone so what’s even the point?  Why work hard again for another 11 months when I can just buy bigger pants?  Laziness is so much easier. 

Every once in a while, I do get that fleeting thought in the back of my mind…..maybe if I tried even harder it wouldn’t take 11 months?  Maybe.  This is now.

THEN: Did I mention the breast-feeding?  No?  I’ve got to work it in someplace.  So, I had planned on breastfeeding the twins.  Can’t do that when they’re on feeding tubes in the NICU.  No, not so much.  But that’s ok.  I can just pump and they can put whatever I get into their feeding tubes.  Although getting less than an ounce after almost a half-hour of pumping is rather discouraging.  Especially when there’s two mouths to feed.  Luckily for me, I was able to stay in the hospital those few extra days.  The lactation nurses came to see me whenever I needed.  I just had to get used to the idea of 2-3 women playing with my boobs every time I needed a little assistance.  I felt it was worth it.  And I suppose an ounce is really not that bad when your kids are only eating a couple ounces at a time anyway.  But it was always on my mind that obviously, eventually, soon, they would need to eat more.  In the meantime they were being supplemented with formula.  I was told multiple times not to feel guilty and that every little teensy tiny bit helped.  And that pumping was bound to get you less milk anyway.  And that having a C-section was bound to get you less.  And that having a delivery at 31 weeks was bound to get you less because your body wasn’t supposed to be ready to give milk for another 7-9 weeks.  And all of these things made sense logically so it’s good that I’m normally a very logical person.

 But I still felt guilty.  And I still felt like since I was just sitting in my hospital room anyway maybe I should just leave the pump attached all day long or something.

 They also said don’t worry about getting up in the night; I needed my rest.  Screw that, my babies needed to eat!  They weren’t sleeping through the night without having to eat, so I couldn’t sleep through the night without making them some food.  They were eating every two hours.  I was pumping every two hours.  Sometimes by the time I got it all set up, pumped for a half-hour or so, and then cleaned up the machine so it would be ready for next time I felt that it probably would be easier just to leave everything attached all day.  Like a cow.  It was not easy.  Emotionally or physically.  I felt drained.  I felt like a failure.  I knew that eventually I would make more but it was hard to convince myself of that when all I had were mere drops to feed my children.  Like really, drops, like when they would pour it from the tube I pumped it into to and try to get it into the feeding tube, there probably was nothing left because it all just got stuck on the side of the container.  I was told to take a picture of them and look at it while I was pumping to stir up some emotion.  That actually did help a lot, especially when I was first home.  They told me to massage my breasts a little before pumping.  That helped too.  A little.  My determination got me through I think.  It is not easy to breastfeed, pump, whatever – I tell everyone that.  But in my opinion, it’s worth it for the vitamins and antibodies that I believe I was providing to my babies.  And since this experience, I have had A LOT of new-mom friends come to me for advice.  I’m no lactation consultant (those people crazy (in a good way)), but I do think that if you can do it, (because not everyone can), you should do it.  Or at least try for a little while because every little teensy tiny bit helps.  That was then.

Rainy Day

NOW: We haven’t had any rainy days this summer.  Finally, one hit.  What the F am I supposed to do when I can’t even go outside with these 2? 

We went out for a little while in the morning, before the rain hit.  But it was dark.  And thundering.  I figured we better come inside.

We were sitting at the kitchen table, eating a snack, and I was in panic mode.  What will we do all day?  My first thought is turn on the TV.  Ok, last resort.  I was feeling pretty desperate.  I don’t know why…..what did we do all winter?  And it’s not like we don’t have millions of toys (not an exaggeration – friends whose kids are in daycare say we have more toys than the daycare).

OK, so what would we do?  COLOR!  That will hold for a little while.  🙂

It wasn’t too long ago that Will was more interested in eating crayons than coloring with them.  Ariel had caught on a little faster that they taste disgusting.  Now, it’s much better because I don’t have to watch him like a hawk; making sure he doesn’t end up with green teeth again.  It’s hard for me to remember that this is an ok activity now. 

They colored for longer than I thought.  Whew!  They really ended up having a good time, and even asked again to color later!  My little babies are growing up so fast. 

However, later on, they were not so agreeable.  Well, Will was not so agreeable.  I don’t know what was going on with him but he was being a bit of a monster.  I am happy to report that I did not raise my voice once.  He just kept whining and moaning and making this super annoying groaning sound.  I had no idea what was wrong with him.  I kept asking him over and over and over.  He’d play for like 5 minutes, and all the sudden be sitting and moaning again.  My kids have a lot of language skills – if something was wrong he should be able to kinda tell me. 

Finally, around 4:00, I took him very gently by the shoulders so he would look right at me.  I went through every body part, asking if it hurt.  He kept saying no.  I asked if he was tired.  I asked if he was hungry – YES!  And he ran to his highchair.  Well for goodness sake kid all you had to do was TELL MOMMY!  It was so frustrating.  Probably the most frustrated I’ve been with either of them all summer.

I gave him some blueberries as a little snack because it was only about an hour and half until dinner.  I know that at this age, if they say they’re hungry they really are.  I figured at least I was giving him a healthy option and if it meant he ate a little less at dinner, oh well, it was fruit!  Ariel had some cantelope. 

When Tim came home he asked if I was going to try and get a job next summer.  Ha Ha.

After they were in bed, I got on the Wii Fit to weigh-in.  Gained 0.7 lbs.  This was in addition to the 2 lbs. I had supposedly gained this weekend.   

I went running. 

I ran. 

And it helped all of my frustration from the day just melt away.  I did my normal route in 28 minutes – usually it takes me at least 30.  I don’t know why I just discovered this whole running thing.  I wish I had figured out sooner how much I like it!  HA!

When I came back the boy was still crying in his crib.  Tim and I finished our strength training and yoga together and then I finally I went in to check on him.  He was instantaneously quiet when I walked in.  Hm, very suspicious.  Obviously there was nothing “wrong”.  He just wanted company.  Which I guess is ok every once in a while.  I calmed him down and then went to take a shower.  When I got out…..crying again.  I stayed a little longer this time, rubbing his back, waiting until he fell asleep.  I was glad I got to go for that run because it helped me keep my sanity for this.

Sometimes I feel so guilty when I’m frustrated.  Sometimes I feel so guilty when I’m favoring one over the other.  All day, Ariel was fine.  Happy, playing, cute.  And at times, I wished it was just her and I for a couple hours and that I didn’t have to deal with the other one.  I feel like I didnt even get to spend time with her because I was trying to figure out what in the hell was wrong with Will. 

Patience helps me get over my guilt I guess.  If I was snapping at them or showing my frustration, I would feel more guilty.  He wasn’t meaning to be frustrating and I just kept that perspective in mind all day.  I counted to 10 in my head.  A lot.  I used my patient-mommy voice.  Because if they know I’m frustrated, they get even more frustrated….which is even worse. 

I guess I’m just venting.  And bragging.  Because I kept my cool.  All Day Long.  And by the end of the day I don’t know how I did it.  And by the end of the day I was ready to get a part-time job not only for next summer, but maybe even the rest of this one.  🙂   This is now.

THEN:  Oh, the heartburn.  I didn’t have any all pregnancy.  I know it’s a symptom, so I wasn’t concerned.  At first.  It was a Thursday night.  I woke up with a pain in my chest.  Heartburn.  I tried sitting up a little in bed to ease the feeling.  It was not comfortable for my stomach.  I laid down again.  I sat up again.  I laid down again.  Finally, Tim woke up.  Kinda what I was aiming for, without having to actually wake him.  The feeling was becoming unbearable.  He got up and looked in the medicine cabinet to see if I could take anything.  I didn’t want to risk it.  Not yet.

So, he did what any normal person does in “this day in age”.  Looked on the internet.  Milk.  Crackers.  Sit up. 

I was so tired.  I just wanted to lay down in my bed.  I did not want to be drinking milk.  I did not want to be eating crackers.  I did not want to be sitting up.  I wanted to be sleeping. 

He went and got me some milk and crackers.

I ate and drank while sitting up in bed.  He laid back down.  What else was he supposed to do, right?  He fell asleep.  I tried laying down again.  Way worse.

I decided to go hang out in the rocking chair in one of the baby rooms.  It was the room we were going to put them both in at first when they came home.  I rocked and ate more crackers and thought about my little ones in my belly.  They were probably sleeping.  Just like my husband.  I kinda tried to rest my eyes.  I fell asleep a little bit, here and there, only a light sleep.  The pain was not really subsiding, even with milk and crackers and sitting up.  Oh well, it was just one night.  I could nap tomorrow. 

I tried not to worry about it.  Lots of people get heartburn while pregnant.  The internet said so. 

When Tim got up the next morning, early, I was still in the rocking chair.  Still awake.  The pain was still there.  What if something was wrong?  I hadn’t had heartburn this whole 7 months, why suddenly now?  We went downstairs and he asked if I wanted breakfast but I wasn’t hungry, I couldn’t eat.  It would hurt.  He suggested I call the doctor.  He never suggests I call the doctor.  I never call the doctor.  Doctors just tell you you’re fine and send you on your way and you feel stupid for even asking.  Just because I had heartburn all night and this morning was no reason to call the doctor.  He wasn’t even there yet, it was only 7 in the morning.  I was fine.  That was then.

Do you AC?

NOW: So, I haven’t been running.  I liked running in the morning, but then Tim wasn’t doing anything for exercise but the walk with the twins and it’s not really enough.  So, we decided to give up the walks, unless we have extra time, and go back to the Wii Fit.  Which means I gave up the running because I was not going to do two strenuous workouts a day, especially when one involved getting my butt out of bed at 4:30. 

So far though, it’s much better as far as weight loss.  I have lost weight each day that I’ve got on the scale.  So that’s good. 

Plus, we eat our dessert/snack earlier, which is good also.  Mentally, I’d rather have my snack after exercising and showering while I’m relaxing on the couch.  But then we go to bed only about an hour later.  I figure it’s probably not good to eat that soon before bed.  So, we eat our snack right after dinner.  Just a little extra something, a little treat.  However, my ice cream intake has been severely limited.  Tim had originally decreed every other day at the most (he has to help me control myself).  Then, he relented because it’s hot out and we can have ice cream every night.  Now, he’s back to his original thought; much to my dismay.  This past week though, I’ve only had ice cream once!  Go me!  Maybe that’s why the number on the scale has been going down.  I’m not going to admit that to him though.  Let him come to his own conclusions.  I still usually have something cold though – sorbet, or a fudgsicle, or a frozen fruit pop.  But, it’s summer, right?

Plus, we still haven’t turned on the air conditioning.  By now, if we haven’t caved, we won’t.  I had promised I wouldn’t unless the twins were having trouble sleeping, but they’re not.  We did buy fans for their rooms though.  I am SO glad for this.  We usually get a nice breeze going through the house so in the morning the first thing I do is throw open all of the windows and doors downstairs.  The windows upstairs are usually open all night, unless I think it’s a little too chilly for the twins’ rooms and then I sneak in and close theirs.  I would so much rather have the fresh air after being cooped up all fall, winter, and spring.  I think it’s probably healthier too – not the same ol’ stale air we’ve been breathing for nine months.  Plus, I love the heat.  I would so much rather be hot than cold.  I can always turn a fan on.  I would take a 90 degree day over a 30 degree anytime.  That’s why we like to go to Florida in the summer…..even though everyone thinks we’re crazy.  This is now.

QUESTION: A/C vs. Open Windows?  Which do you prefer?  Which do you do?

THEN:  We have only turned the air conditioner on in our house 3 times. 

Once was the first year we had the house.  We had planned a trip to Washington D.C. but we were going to drive all night.  So, the night before we stayed up as late as possible, and then woke up early the next day, intending to sleep in the afternoon.  It was so unbearably hot and sticky in our room that we decided to go try and nap downstairs.  It was too sunny.  We decided to just turn on the air so we could sleep and then turn it off before we left that night.  Then, when we got back there were a couple of nights that were ridiculously hot, so we turned the air on a few nights and turned it back off in the mornings.  Bad idea.  It took so much energy to get the house cooled down to the right temperature so many times, that our electric bill that month was ENORMOUS!  We vowed never again.

The year I was pregnant.  Everyone kept telling me “aren’t you lucky, it’s such a mild summer.”  Well then, I would have been REALLY uncomfortable in a hot summer!  The temps were a little lower than normal, and it was a pretty rainy summer.  But I was a sweat-box.  Especially at school (no, schools around Buffalo do not have Air Conditioning – at least not my district!)  Most of the time, from April – August, I had to sit to teach because I was so out of breath and uncomfortably warm.  I teach summer school too, which is only like 3 hours in the morning.  By the end, I’d go right home and take a cool shower.  So, around May, I decided I needed the A/C on at home.  After that, it was much better.  I would take a nap after school and be very comfortable – as long as I had a fan blowing on me also.  I would wear the same 2 maternity skirts and a handful of maternity tank tops over and over.  I know most people do this, but I couldn’t stand to wear my shorts, or a sleeve longer than a tank.  I was also having major swelling in my ankles and wrists by the end of the day, so I relaxed in the A/C a lot.  But, I was supposed to be relaxing anyway.

The first summer we had the twins was the only other time that we decided to put the A/C on.  They were sleeping through the night by then (finally, Will) and we didn’t want to mess with that by having it be too hot and uncomfortable.  Plus, we kept their doors closed at night (otherwise they wake each other up), so it gets even warmer without the A/C.  We didn’t want to give up our sleep because of being uncomfortable either.  So, we had it on. 

When I was in my early teens my parents had Central Air installed.  My sister and I would be walking around in sweatshirts and pants and socks, not even realizing how warm it really was outside.  Even then, we would also be covered in a blanket watching TV or whatever.  Our mom would get on our cases about not using the pool.  Well, why would you feel the need to go cool off when you were already cold enough?  Plus, if you’re cold inside you figure it must be cool outside.  When we would leave the house, we would have to run back in and change into summer clothes – like, oh, it IS warm out here, huh?  So, that’s why I have promised myself not to use the air conditioning at my house unless it would become an absolute necessity.  That was then.

Patriotic Piggies

NOW:  Can I tell you how glad I am to have a daughter AND a son?  People often say to me “oh, a boy and a girl, how perfect.  Are you done now?”  Which is kind of presumptuous.  But also kind of true.  I think because they are of the opposite sex, they are already very well-rounded in gender-based activities.  But, part of that is Ariel being a girlie-girl. 

See her little red toenails?  I had to get a picture of them while she was in her swing.  When she was on the ground she kept running away saying “no, no, no”, but in a cute, teasing voice, not a tantrum voice.

I had been thinking about painting her nails for a while now.  What better time than 4th of July?  Nice red for the holiday.  I was going to do them red and blue, like mine. 

  But, I wanted to see how she reacted first.  I asked her this morning if she wanted me to paint her toenails.  She said yes.  I didn’t know why because I don’t think she knew what I was talking about, but she’s pretty agreeable.  I didn’t even have mine painted yet to show her an example.

  I painted them for her while she was in her highchair, having snack.  I figured this way her hands were busy holding crackers and stuffing her mouth.  Less likely to touch them.  I painted her big toe first and asked her if she liked it.  “More, more” was the reply, while pointing to her remaining toes.  So, I finished them up, and told her she couldn’t touch or they’d smudge.  And she didn’t!  Once she was ready to get out of her chair, they were dry.  She showed Will, who immediately touched them and smiled.  I thought, “uh-oh, here we go, he’s gonna want some too.”  But he didn’t.  Even after Mommy painted her own toenails too.  I figured worst-case-scenario if he REALLY threw a fit I had some clear polish that might have satisfied him and no one would ever know.  I should have known better, really.  The boy acts like I’m shoving bamboo shoots up his fingernails when all I’m doing is clipping them.  So he probably wouldn’t want any extra attention bestowed on his piggies.

Poor Will had to play by himself in the sandbox though.  Ariel didn’t want to get her toesies dirty.  See?  Girlie-girl.  🙂  She’s all ready to party this weekend!!! 

ALSO: I lost 2 lbs. on the Wii Fit last night!  Meeting and beating my goal of 5 lbs in a month!  YAY!!!  I think it’s all the extra running around after the twins.  And, eating less because it’s hot.  And going back to dessert after dinner, not after exercising.  However, I am often STARVING after exercising.  Here’s our schedule: eat dinner, have dessert, play with twins, baths for twins, put twins to bed, exercise, relax on the couch, bed.  We don’t want to have our dessert/snack too close to bedtime, but should we be eating after exercising???  This is now.

Question:  Should I snack after exercising even if it’s only a couple hours before I go to bed?

THEN:  April 5, 2009

Ok, I don’t often go around showing off a naked belly, so it’s hard to compare this picture to what my belly looks like normally.  That being said, I already felt HUGE.  And I’m only 2 months pregnant!  Look, I had to wear my pajama pants below my waistline.  Pajama pants.  So, maybe I went a little overboard with the eating at first.  I don’t know.  The doctors didn’t seem concerned – I was carrying multiples after all!  I was expected to gain a little more. 

I still couldn’t exercise.  Those extra follicles that had gotten so enlarged from the injectable fertility drugs were still enlarged and likely would be for a few more months.  I couldn’t believe it.  A small price to pay, but it made me nervous.  Thinking that the follicle, or even my whole ovary, could burst or twist?  Not good.  So I was taking it easy with the workouts.  Very easy.  But, I was told to, so it’s not like I was really being lazy.  I was trying to follow the doctor’s orders to a “t”, which included no working out, no sex, and some “no-no” foods.  After working so hard to get what I wanted, I didn’t want to screw it up by eating blue cheese or a hot dog or something stupid.  I was a little paranoid probably.  But I wasn’t taking any chances. 

I got on the Wii Fit to weigh myself a few more times.  It was funny because when you gain weight, it asks you to pick a reason.  There’s no “pregnant” option.  So, the computer kept trying to motivate me to lose weight and reach my goal.  Stupid computer.  🙂 

It was kind of frustrating because I was so used to exercising.  I had really started to like it.  The way I felt so good afterwards.  Plus, it was just part of my routine now.  I knew I was supposed to gain weight, duh, so that part didn’t bother me.  Just the feeling that there was something I enjoyed doing that I couldn’t do anymore.  I was also really worried that once I had stopped, I would stop for good.  It would just be continuous excuses and I would end up never getting back into that routine again.  It was a valid concern.  It had been so many years that I would tell myself to exercise and not do it, or do it inconsistantly.  It had only been a year since I had started regularly exercising.  Only a year that it had been part of my routine.  Only a year since I realized I actually enjoyed it.  And it would be over 9 months to forget all of those feelings and go back to the lazy, excuse-ridden feelings that I had had for most of my teenage/adult years.  So, I tried not to let go of that feeling.  I waited for the day when those follicles were back to normal size and maybe I’d exercise a little towards the later half of my pregnancy so I didn’t forget.  That was then.

Hello? Are you there? We’re Looking for Bugs!


Hello? Hello?

 They love the phone.  Probably all kids do, I don’t know.  I’m so enthralled by my own kids, but some people probably are all like, “been there, done that, all kids are the same”.  Oh well.

We teased Will yesterday.  He had Daddy’s cell phone (he stole it), and I kept calling it.

He was very confused.  But then every time it would stop ringing he would ask for more.  I love playing pranks on my unsuspecting children.  They are just so naive!  It’s TOO easy! 

We had gone outside Friday night.  I made the mistake one day of showing the kids how to look for bugs.  They kept seeing ants on the deck, but then they’d go down the cracks.  So I, being the smart mom that I am (ha), decided to show them how we could pick up rocks and look for bugs. 

We don’t really find many, which surprises me.  But I just tell the kids they must be sleeping.  This does not discourage them much; they just keep picking up the same rock and checking.  They are so easily entertained.  🙂

Once, I picked up a bug, well, a worm, to show them more closely.  They looked at it, but then Will said, “home, bug, home” and pointed to the ground.  So I put him back.  Now, all weekend they kept pointing outside and asking for bugs.  It was a little too chilly and rainy though. 

We went out to dinner with Mema and Papa.  The twins are actually pretty well behaved at restaurants (knock on wood) but that’s probably because we do our best to keep them entertained while they’re sitting.  Ariel was contented knowing there were french fries coming.  Will was contented eating ALL of the ONIONS out of Daddy’s French Onion Soup.  Now, I know Vidalias are sweet onions, but still, come on, what kid eats all these onions?

They were piled on this plate when he first started eating, no lie.  Anyway, we had a pretty good dinner.  It wasn’t our “cheat” day, so we tried to be good.  I had a Steak and Blue salad, and Tim had a BBQ chicken sandwich.  We split the fries that came with his. 

A couple with a kid a little older than Will and Ariel were sitting near us.  They pulled out their portable DVD player almost as soon as they sat down and put cartoons on for the kid!  I was shocked!  We overheard their explanation to the waitress – he just won’t leave home without it!  Really?  The kid is going to drive back home and get the DVD player if you don’t bring it?  Puh-leeze!  It’s not like it was a quiet-type restaurant where you really had to keep your kid super quiet.  Can’t you just spend some time talking to him/interacting with him/bringing toys and playing with him?  We played hide-and-seek with napkins for goodness sake!  I just can’t believe what lengths some parents will go to in order to avoid their children.

After the kids were in bed, Tim and I exercised on the Wii Fit again.  It was kind of cool today (only around 60 degrees), so by evening there was a nice breeze coming in through the window, which helps a lot when you’re exercising indoors.  And I lost 0.7 lbs!  YAY! 

After we showered we watched Pirates of the Caribbean.  We want to have a Disney marathon, but some of the movies we know the kids might enjoy.  Besides, we have to start training them on the characters for when we go to Disney World next year.  I would like to go in alphabetical order; that’s how they’re organized, but we knew the “new” Alice in Wonderland, and the Pirates movies would not be so interesting for the twins, so we started with those.  Plus, we hadn’t seen Alice before….good thing we watched it without them…..totally inappropriate/scary!

I made myself an iced coffee to help keep me awake. 

  Last summer, in an effort to save money and calories, I bought myself a Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker – only because it can be used as an Iced Coffee maker.  Now, I know that I could technically make iced coffee in my regular coffee pot, but I had tried that and it was not turning out right.  So, for 20 bucks from Target, this was a good investment. 

I used to (and sometimes still do) use Coffee Mate non-fat French Vanilla creamer for it.  But I recently discoverd this syrup – it’s sugar free Vanilla – and it has a much stronger taste.  Not as creamy, but I don’t need to use as much.  Plus, I can pretend I’m putting alcohol in.  

Here’s my special iced coffee cup – I found if I was just pouring into into a plain glass it didn’t feel as special and I was more tempted to go out and buy one rather than make it.  (Those Tim Hortons cups are laced with “something special”; I’m convinced.)

It’s the cup I got when we went to see The Little Mermaid on Broadway back in 2009.  My drink also helped curb my appetite.  I had had Doritos for a snack but was still craving something sweet.  This wasn’t the same as having a dish of ice cream, but the iced coffee + watching Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow was enough to keep my mind off my stomach.  *sigh*  This is now.

THEN: I was thinking back the other day to the long ago, in the before time (South Park, anyone?).  In 2000, I met my future husband.  We were both 19.  I didn’t necessarily know he was “the one” on our first date, but I knew he was special.  Soon, we started “Going Out”, and not long after, we said our I Love You’s.  Then we went from saying “IF we ever get married” to “WHEN we get married” and “IF we ever have kids” to “WHEN we have kids”.  It was funny too because my last serious boyfriend and I discussed having a family and I was totally against it.  Now, I was only 17/18 years old, but I think too, I knew he wouldn’t have been a good daddy.  Once I realized that Tim would be, all my feelings towards children changed. 

But even when we did get married in 2004, we still had the fear of getting pregnant.  I would hold my breath hoping I got my period that month.  We discussed when we would start trying but we wanted to me just married a couple of years first.  I wanted to get tenured at school first.  We wanted to just be selfish and on our own.  We had both come from living at home and I especially, hadn’t really experienced the freedom of being out on my own.  So we waited, which was fine, we probably weren’t ready.  I mean, if something had happened, and we ended up pregnant too early it would have been ok, we were married, we wanted kids, we would have been fine.

Then we had a scare.  It was December 2006.  My period was very, very late.  I didn’t even want to tell him.  Was I happy?  Upset?  How would he feel?  I finally told him and we talked.  We decided to wait until I was a week and a half late and take a pregnancy test.  It came back negative.  I got my period the next day.  But this scare made us realize – we were disappointed by that negative.  We were ready.  We would have been happier being pregnant than not.  I was getting tenured in May.  We were ready.  We were going to start trying to have a baby.  It was so great that we were both on the same page at the same time.  I still wasn’t going to go off the pill until I talked to my doctor, but I had an appointment in April, so that was fine.  We could wait a little longer.  But we were ready.  That was then.

Baby Food

NOW: I mentioned in a previous post about veggies steaming on the stove.  I wanted to share a little about what we feed the kids.  I really buy in to the motto that Gerber has going right now: Start Healthy, Stay Healthy.  I am not the most healthiest person in the world.  I don’t eat enough fruits and vegetables, I eat too many snacks.  I’m trying to be better.  I want my kids to be better.  So far, it’s working out pretty well.  For them, anyway.  A lot of moms I know or have seen on blogs or message boards feed their kids what they eat.  It’s simpler.  And if you’re a healthy-eating mom, it works out well.

According to statistics, kids are not getting anywhere near enough fruits and vegetables.  Like 80% of kids under 2.  I think you’ve got to get ’em when they’re young!  They don’t know any better.  And they have to eat what you give them!  Of the kids that do get vegetables daily – the number 1 veggie consumed?  French Fries.  Vegetables already not that high in vitamins, dunked in oil and made crispy.  Now, I happen to absolutely love french fries.  So do the twins.  There’s nothing wrong with french fries.  Unless it’s the child’s main/only vegetable. 

 It’s true what they say too; you have to keep trying.  When the twins were really little, just trying out solid foods, we tried many different things.  Mushrooms were one thing that did not go over too well.  We kept making them, like every other week, and we kept offering them (along with other veggies we knew they already liked).  We tried them a lot and still no takers.  However, when they got a little older, around a year and a half, I had mushroom pizza.  They wanted to try it.  Lo and behold!  They liked the mushrooms and will usually eat them now.  Or pancakes.  For the longest time they would not eat pancakes.  Or Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.  Or grilled cheese sandwiches.  But I kept making these things week after week.  I tried putting them into different shapes – like strips instead of little bites, or triangles instead of rectangles.  It took a lot of patience.  Now, they will usually eat these things also.  Especially pancakes.  Especially with just a tiny bit of “dip! dip!” (maple syrup).  And if they didn’t eat the main dish I was offering, they still had their vegetables and fruit to eat.  I threw out a lot, or saved it for another day, another try.  But it’s worth it (so far). 

At my house, I still make the kids “baby food”.  We never bought jarred baby food.  Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but making our own insured that we knew what went into it, what portions we wanted, and saved us a TON of money.   We would steam the vegetables once a week and them puree them to the consistency we wanted, either using the food processor or the stick blender. (That one is just an example of what I’m talking about.)  This is basically what we still do today.  But without the puree-ing.  Once a week, I take 4-6 different kinds of vegetables, chop them up (if necessary), and steam them.

(Organic) Sweet Potatoes


Frozen Peas

I put them into plastic containers to cool before covering and putting in the refrigerator.  Then, for lunch and dinner I portion out 2 different vegetables, microwave them, and serve them to the kids.  They eat 4 servings of vegetables this way.  Sometimes more, because they will often ask for more veggies.  Then, whatever vegetable Tim and I have for dinner that night, they get some also.  (Ariel is a HUGE fan of asparagus).  They will also get a side salad if we have one; lettuce and tomatoes with a little bit of salad dressing.  Even when we go to restaurants or someone else’s house, I usually bring their veggies just in case they won’t like/eat whatever there is available.

Baby Carrots and Frozen Corn - steamed and in containers

For lunch, they also get a meat – and again, I only make this once a week and then refrigerate it.  I try to rotate between Organic Chicken thighs, Grass-fed ground Lamb, and Turkey. 
For dinner, their “main dish” is whatever Tim and I are eating.  Or, if it’s something that we don’t have enough of because we bought it already portioned, or if it’s something the twins don’t like, they get something else.  But we always make them try whatever we’re having.  There’s an Elmo’s World episode that helps with this – Elmo says you always have to try everything twice to see if you like it!  Some alternative dinners are waffles, blueberry waffles, strawberry waffles, pancakes, or pasta.  
Dessert is fruit.  Now, again, I don’t abide by this myself usually, so my kids are healthier than I.  But they need it more than me.  In the winter I bought frozen fruit and defrosted a few different kinds once a week.  For now, I buy fresh and just pull out and wash what they want.  They usually ask for blueberries (they say it “babies”, so we joke with them about being cannibals).  They also really like pineapple, strawberries, banana, cherries, watermelon, kiwi; anything really.  The one thing they won’t eat is raspberries and blackberries.  I think it’s the texture more than the taste.  They get “treats” sometimes too.  They love freezie pops, popsicles.  I found these really yummy fruit popsicles.  Del Monte Fruit Chillers Freeze and Eat – they’re not in the freezer section though, they’re in with the canned fruit/veggies and you freeze them yourself.  We love them and so do the twins.  And they contain real fruit!  Cherry, grape or strawberry.  Perfect on a hot summer day.  This is now.
THEN:  On February 19, 2009 I went for a bloodtest.  I hadn’t gotten my period yet (yay?), but I hadn’t taken an at-home pregnancy test either.  Tim was getting pretty good at keeping track of my monthly cycle by now.  I was going to just go for the blood test without telling him.  Negatively, because if I wasn’t pregnant again I wanted to deal by myself for a while.  Positively, because if I was pregnant I thought I could surprise him.  He knew, however, when I was supposed to go.  We both went.  We took the day off again.  It was nerve-wracking waiting for the phone call from the nurse.  We got breakfast sandwiches from Tim Hortons and brought them home.  We waited.  We watched some TV.  We waited.  We did some light housework.  We waited.  We ate lunch.  We waited.  We watched more TV.  We waited.  We did some mild step aerobics on the Wii Fit (I was still taking it easy so my enlarged follicles didn’t burst or twist).  The phone rang.  I ran upstairs to answer it by myself.  I knew who it was (thank goodness for/curse; caller ID).  I was shaking.  I barely made it up the stairs. 
I’m shaking even now, typing this and remembering.
I was pregnant.  The bloodtest was positive.  A lot positive.  Like high numbers.  No chance of not being pregnant (I asked several times).  Congratulations!  Come back in for bloodwork in two days to recheck the levels.  For real?  For real. 
I took a deep breath and grabbed Tim’s You’re-Going-To-Be-A-Daddy gift.  I already had it in a gift bag (I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT). 
I ran back downstairs still shaking.  He knew.  Before I even said anything, of course he knew.  He hugged me and we both cried.  I never saw him cry before and I never have since.  We hugged and hugged and cried and cried.  I was supposed to go out to dinner with friends in a few hours, but we needed to go shopping first.
We went and found each of our parents a “grandparent” frame.  We made a Build-A-Frog for my sister, and a Build-A-Monkey for his.  They were each holding a toy bottle and rattle.  We went to his parents’ house and had his mom open the gift.  They were so (obviously) excited.  She didn’t ‘get’ it right away.  His sister came home.  We gave her the monkey.  She screamed.  Tim’s mom ran upstairs to get ME a gift.  A Valentine’s Day bib.  The psychic had said by Valentine’s Day.  Only a little late.
We went on to my parents’ house.  My mom and dad were crying.  My sister was at work so we went there next.  She was excited. 
None of our family had really known what we had gone through.  We didn’t want criticism.  We didn’t want them to worry.  We didn’t want questions or comments.  They knew we were trying.  They knew we were going to a doctor.  They knew I was on some sort of medication.  They weren’t sure what they thought about that.  So, it was better not to give them too many details.  Besides, who really wants to talk about your sex life with your parents?  That was then.