Life with Twins

Posts tagged ‘weight loss’

6 Days Until My Birthday!! (plus some news!)

No-Twin Thursday (yeah, I know, I know)

NOW: Guess what I did (ok, I haven’t done it yet, but I’m going to do it, really)!!!  I signed up (will be) for the Buffalo Half-Marathon!!!  Whoo-hoo!!!!

Ok, I haven’t signed up yet.  But I am serious about it.  I even had a couple of meetings regarding the topic.  First with Tim, then with my friend/running buddy, Kate. 

Kate and I talked about signing up for this months ago.  Then, we kind of casually talked about it a couple of weeks ago (as in; how’s your running going….not so good… neither…..).  But I had a training plan that a colleague had shared with me that didn’t start until February 12.  That seemed like a million miles away, so no big deal.  

Luckily, Kate is more on the ball than me.  I want to do it, I have plans to do it, I got her involved in the first place, but then sometimes I just don’t follow through.  Or I put things off until it’s too late.  Kate texted me Wednesday implying that we needed to get our shit together and figure out what the hell we’re going to do about this training plan that starts in two weeks.  Especially since neither of us has been running since our last 5K in the end of September.

I was lazy calm about it.  I said I’d talk to Tim about a good day for her and I to get together and have a little dinner and discussion.  I was thinking like next week…two weeks….

But then I said to myself; “self, get your ass in gear”.  So I did.  We met at Panera last night and planned out a calendar.  I’m a little less flexible than her as far as time because of the twins and Tim not wanting to stay home with the twins.  We decided running in the morning, 3 times a week would work for our shorter runs and then a weekend day (usually Sunday) for the longer ones.  And any day we can’t run together outside for some reason, we have to check in with each other that we got our running in alone that day.

I talked to Tim first.  He’s my workout buddy and I’m going to be abandoning him 3 times a week!  He basically said that was fine as long as I got him out of bed first so that he’ll get up and do the Wii Fit without me.  The other two days I’ll do the Wii Fit with him.  Until the sun starts coming up in the morning and then he’ll go running by himself those two days so that he can do some 5K runs this summer.

Kate and I are also going to run an 8K Shamrock Run in between.  It works out that it’s the same weekend as we are supposed to do a 5 mile run anyway and it will be good motivation.

Normally, we don’t sign up for races ahead of time.  But that’s mostly because the 5K races don’t have a big difference in price even if you wait until the last minute.  But this is a little different.  Not so much for the Shamrock Run, but the Half especially.  So, we’ll save some money (always nice, especially when she has a wedding to pay for in 6 months!) and again, more motivation.  If we’re already out the money we won’t use the rain or something silly as an excuse, right?

I feel so motivated after this little plan!  I ordered a healthier option while at Panera (garden vegetable soup as opposed to broccoli cheddar) and did not get that 420 calorie Caramel latte I wanted so much. 

Perhaps this is just the motivation I needed.  Hopefully it will stand up to Birthday Week dinners!!!  (6 days until my Birthday! Yay!)  This is now.

THEN: It was SO hard that I couldn’t drive after my C-section for 6 weeks.  I needed to get to the hospital!  Luckily, my parents took me every day that Tim was working.  He had decided he would use his time off for when the twins actually came home, rather than now.  I had to rely on my parents’ schedule but usually it was ok.  My mornings were spent at home alone sleeping, pumping, watching tv, pumping, doing some light chores, pumping, eating, and pumping.  Mostly pumping.  And waiting.  Waiting for the time when my mom and dad would come get me and take me to the babies.  It was stressful, but relaxing.  Does that make sense?

I’m not a worrier.  Whatever will be, will be.  And some things are out of my control so worrying isn’t going to solve the problem.  Was I worried about the twins?  Yes, of course.  But they were healthy.  It had been ME that was the problem, not them.  So was I worried, yes, because they were in the hospital and I had all the what if questions…..what if they didn’t gain enough weight, what if their bodies wouldn’t regulate their temperature, what if they didn’t learn how to eat, what if their oxygen levels dropped, what if a crazed nurse stole them from the hospital like a Lifetime movie?

These thoughts were in my mind, yes.  But they were always in the absolute back of my mind.  They didn’t stop me from enjoying and appreciating everything else I was given.  Especially my sleep and freedom.  I had two newborns and I was sleeping through the night and had loads of freetime.  I try to look on the bright side.  🙂  That was then.

Winter Rut

NOW:  I’m really in a bad winter rut.  Not emotionally.  Physically.  And it’s discouraging because I feel like in the last 5 weeks or so, I’ve undone everything I worked for.  Between January 2011 through Mid-December, I was really really good about exercising.  Over the summer I even started running and ran a few 5K’s.  I felt great.  And along with the exercising I was watching what I ate….not obsessively, but just paying attention to my hunger cues and adding more veggies and healthier options.

I knew things would go downhill at the holidays.  With going out shopping came going out to dinner.  We still were sort of trying to find better options but we were still busy enough that we weren’t cooking at home as often and maybe not paying as much attention.  Now, I’m not talking about going to a fast-food place and getting fatty or fried foods!  Even if we ran to Applebee’s we didn’t get a big cheeseburger with fries along with an appetizer or something.  We didn’t pick off of the Weight Watchers menu either, but we tried to get grilled chicken or steak with veggies.   And we almost always cut our meal in half and take half home. 

Things really fell apart the week AFTER Christmas.  I was off and had no intention of getting up at 5:30 in the morning to exercise.  That was my first mistake I guess.  It was more important for me to get that sleep.  Which actually ended up working out ok because with Will being SO sick (broncialitis/pneumonia), he was waking me up VERY often in the night and I felt exhausted anyway.

Ok, so the New Year came and my first day back was January 3rd, but I still felt honestly just exhausted.  I didn’t catch up on sleep at all the week before and I was definitely feeling run down.  So, again, I chose sleep over exercise.  All week.  Again.  I felt refreshed.  And not guilty.  Not good.  Because justifying it can be a big mistake.  I know that from past experiences.

The week of the 9th was better.  We got up Monday, Tuesday, took a break Wednesday, got up Thursday.  Friday…..not so much…..Will had been waking me up like every half-hour during the night and then the dog woke me up once because he threw up.  When my alarm went off, I cried.  Tim said this was an extenuating circumstance and I should get the extra hour of sleep.  So I did.

Starting Sunday, Tim was sick.  Like puking sick.  So…..I was very busy.  I was on my own with the kids and then I also needed to take care of him. He didn’t need much, just an occasional glass of water or some crackers.  I did have to make dinner, which he had been planning on doing, and then he didn’t eat even though he requested Lipton soup.  The kids loved it though!  I wasn’t sure how that would work out…..they’ve had it before but only by taking little sips off of our spoons.  But I gave them more noodles/less broth and they did VERY well!  I was impressed.  So that was good.

Monday I had off, Tim was still sick, I didn’t even consider exercising.  Again, setting a bad precedent for the week.  Tuesday morning, my alarm was all set.  But my resolve wasn’t.  And this is where my problem lies.  I haven’t exercised all week.  Tim had an excuse, he’s still pretty weak.  He finally ate just yesterday.  Here’s my main problem – my motivation seems to be gone.  And it feels like it’s been gone for a while.  I love(d) exercising.  I love feeling great.  I love getting up in the morning and feeling like I accomplished something.  I love when my pants don’t feel tight (which they do right now).  So what is MY PROBLEM!!!!!   I’m so mad at myself, but apparently not mad enough to do something about it.  Even today, I said to myself, meh, it’s already Thursday, why bother getting up to exercise now.  WHAT!?  Ridiculous.  And I know it’s ridiculous.  But I’m still not doing anything about it.

I also have a terrible terrible habit of eating if I can get away with it.  For some reason, when I get home from work and I’m starting to make dinner, I almost always get very shaky.  Like low-blood-sugar or something.  What I should do, is have a nice, high-protein snack as soon as I get home and that will hold me off until dinner.  But I don’t.  I wait until I’m shaky, light-headed, hot/cold, and irritable.  Then I have 3 handfuls of cashews (probably 3 servings right there), a couple pieces of chocolate, and maybe even some tomatoes or something if I’m making salads.  So not only am I ingesting all of these calories after eating good all day, plus I didn’t exercise, plus it’s only like an hour before dinner. 

I just don’t understand how I know it’s bad and wrong  and I feel physically awful especially in the area of pants being tight.  And yet I don’t feel guilty enough to fix it.  Maybe writing down these confessions will help.  Maybe you guys should all comment (yay, please comment!) about how I need to get my lazy self back to exercising and not gorging on cashews every evening before Tim gets home.

Not only that, but I know part of my decrease in motivation comes from the fact that I worked so hard for 11 months and now it’s all undone so what’s even the point?  Why work hard again for another 11 months when I can just buy bigger pants?  Laziness is so much easier. 

Every once in a while, I do get that fleeting thought in the back of my mind…..maybe if I tried even harder it wouldn’t take 11 months?  Maybe.  This is now.

THEN: Did I mention the breast-feeding?  No?  I’ve got to work it in someplace.  So, I had planned on breastfeeding the twins.  Can’t do that when they’re on feeding tubes in the NICU.  No, not so much.  But that’s ok.  I can just pump and they can put whatever I get into their feeding tubes.  Although getting less than an ounce after almost a half-hour of pumping is rather discouraging.  Especially when there’s two mouths to feed.  Luckily for me, I was able to stay in the hospital those few extra days.  The lactation nurses came to see me whenever I needed.  I just had to get used to the idea of 2-3 women playing with my boobs every time I needed a little assistance.  I felt it was worth it.  And I suppose an ounce is really not that bad when your kids are only eating a couple ounces at a time anyway.  But it was always on my mind that obviously, eventually, soon, they would need to eat more.  In the meantime they were being supplemented with formula.  I was told multiple times not to feel guilty and that every little teensy tiny bit helped.  And that pumping was bound to get you less milk anyway.  And that having a C-section was bound to get you less.  And that having a delivery at 31 weeks was bound to get you less because your body wasn’t supposed to be ready to give milk for another 7-9 weeks.  And all of these things made sense logically so it’s good that I’m normally a very logical person.

 But I still felt guilty.  And I still felt like since I was just sitting in my hospital room anyway maybe I should just leave the pump attached all day long or something.

 They also said don’t worry about getting up in the night; I needed my rest.  Screw that, my babies needed to eat!  They weren’t sleeping through the night without having to eat, so I couldn’t sleep through the night without making them some food.  They were eating every two hours.  I was pumping every two hours.  Sometimes by the time I got it all set up, pumped for a half-hour or so, and then cleaned up the machine so it would be ready for next time I felt that it probably would be easier just to leave everything attached all day.  Like a cow.  It was not easy.  Emotionally or physically.  I felt drained.  I felt like a failure.  I knew that eventually I would make more but it was hard to convince myself of that when all I had were mere drops to feed my children.  Like really, drops, like when they would pour it from the tube I pumped it into to and try to get it into the feeding tube, there probably was nothing left because it all just got stuck on the side of the container.  I was told to take a picture of them and look at it while I was pumping to stir up some emotion.  That actually did help a lot, especially when I was first home.  They told me to massage my breasts a little before pumping.  That helped too.  A little.  My determination got me through I think.  It is not easy to breastfeed, pump, whatever – I tell everyone that.  But in my opinion, it’s worth it for the vitamins and antibodies that I believe I was providing to my babies.  And since this experience, I have had A LOT of new-mom friends come to me for advice.  I’m no lactation consultant (those people crazy (in a good way)), but I do think that if you can do it, (because not everyone can), you should do it.  Or at least try for a little while because every little teensy tiny bit helps.  That was then.

Morning Routine (no-twin-Tuesday)

I’ve done it.  I’ve accomplished something marvelous.  It might only be temporary, due to any unforeseen circumstances but the fact that it is currently happening is nothing short of miraculous.

Tim is getting up early with me and exercising.  And likes it.

I have been trying to do this for a long time.  Even when we would have an event planned in the evening and we would know we weren’t going to exercise he would refuse to get up early. 

But we’ve been slacking off as of late and I decided it was time to try something new.  Not only were we skipping days, but we were so tired by the end of the day that we weren’t putting a lot of effort in when we did exercise.

So, last weekend I broached the subject again.  I said we’d have more time at night to just relax.  One of the reasons I didn’t like exercising after the kids were in bed was because that only left about 2 hours before we went to bed.  So, we’d get ready, we’d exercise, we’d shower, and we’d have maybe a half-hour before I was falling asleep on the couch.  Plus, I was just plain exhausted after working all day, dealing with twins while trying to start dinner, and then playing after dinner. 

So he agreed to try.  YAY YAY YAY!!!  Last week we got up every morning.  Well, he was on death’s door Thursday and Friday so he skipped, but whatever.  And this week we are still going strong!  We even got up Saturday morning before swim class. 

I feel like I have more energy in the morning, both as I’m exercising and then after.  I feel like it adds more time to our day….which it really does because we’re getting up an hour earlier.  Plus, I don’t feel so guilty making evening plans because I still get my workout in.  I also think it is helping me control my eating again because I can’t tell myself that I’ll just work it off later.  Nope, too late, you already exercised for the day.  I also read an article about morning workouts that said you need to give yourself at least 3 weeks to readjust to your new schedule.  So as of right now, that’s the plan.

Last week I don’t feel like I was any more tired than usual because of this new routine, but this week I’m feeling it a little more.  But that’s more due to our busy weekend. 

We stayed up late Saturday because we went out to dinner and then spontaneously decided to catch a showing at 11 PM of The Rocky Horror Picture Show……complete with props!!!!   I was so excited!  It was a lot of fun, but it has sure taken it’s toll on me as far as being tired.  Friends of ours and Tim and I decided to visit a restaurant called Tantalus.  AMAZING!!  The only bad thing was that the menu was enormous….and everything sounded so good!  It was hard to decide.  We started with a seafood appetizer and I had a glass of red wine.  Then, I tried a cup of their Apple Pumpkin Goat Cheese Soup.  I wished I had ordered the bowl instead because it was SO yummy!  Then, another glass of wine.  For dinner, I had a pasta dish called The Tuxedo.  It was linguini, and linguini infused with squid ink.  Then it was mixed with a spicy red tomato sauce, chunks of tomatoes, kalamata olives, pine nuts, and anchovies.  I’m not normally an anchovy person, but I sure was with this dish!  To end the meal, I tried their hot apple cider “kicked up” with a shot of Van Gogh Caramel Vodka.  It was heavenly. 

After dinner we were walking across the brick street to a small bar to finish watching the Sabres Game.  On the way we passed by the local Theater…..which was showing Rocky Horror that night.  We went in and inquired about props, found out they were allowed, and left the boys at the bar while we ran to Tops for supplies!  When we got back we rounded them up (not too hard to do because the Sabres game was done) and invaded the theater.  I have ALWAYS wanted to do this movie in the theater with the props and my experience was not disappointing.  It was SO SO SO much fun.  And as my friend said……it was one of those spontaneous things we used to do more often before I had kids.  Which was not meant in a bad way at all, and was very true! 

I spoke to Tim about it afterwards.  We don’t get a lot of nights out where we can be spontaneous.  Usually we get a babysitter for a specific event, we go to the event, we go home.  This was such a nice night because aside from dinner, we had no agenda.  We could have done basically whatever we wanted.  And we did.  What a treat!

Then Sunday we carved pumpkins, and yesterday we went out trick-or-treating. 

So, as I’m writing this, I am exhausted.  The last few days were exhausting.  Work was exhausting.  Kids are exhausting.  I’m ready to get a good night’s sleep (and it’s only 4:00) and start fresh…….with my morning workout!!!!!!!

Rainy Day

NOW: We haven’t had any rainy days this summer.  Finally, one hit.  What the F am I supposed to do when I can’t even go outside with these 2? 

We went out for a little while in the morning, before the rain hit.  But it was dark.  And thundering.  I figured we better come inside.

We were sitting at the kitchen table, eating a snack, and I was in panic mode.  What will we do all day?  My first thought is turn on the TV.  Ok, last resort.  I was feeling pretty desperate.  I don’t know why…..what did we do all winter?  And it’s not like we don’t have millions of toys (not an exaggeration – friends whose kids are in daycare say we have more toys than the daycare).

OK, so what would we do?  COLOR!  That will hold for a little while.  🙂

It wasn’t too long ago that Will was more interested in eating crayons than coloring with them.  Ariel had caught on a little faster that they taste disgusting.  Now, it’s much better because I don’t have to watch him like a hawk; making sure he doesn’t end up with green teeth again.  It’s hard for me to remember that this is an ok activity now. 

They colored for longer than I thought.  Whew!  They really ended up having a good time, and even asked again to color later!  My little babies are growing up so fast. 

However, later on, they were not so agreeable.  Well, Will was not so agreeable.  I don’t know what was going on with him but he was being a bit of a monster.  I am happy to report that I did not raise my voice once.  He just kept whining and moaning and making this super annoying groaning sound.  I had no idea what was wrong with him.  I kept asking him over and over and over.  He’d play for like 5 minutes, and all the sudden be sitting and moaning again.  My kids have a lot of language skills – if something was wrong he should be able to kinda tell me. 

Finally, around 4:00, I took him very gently by the shoulders so he would look right at me.  I went through every body part, asking if it hurt.  He kept saying no.  I asked if he was tired.  I asked if he was hungry – YES!  And he ran to his highchair.  Well for goodness sake kid all you had to do was TELL MOMMY!  It was so frustrating.  Probably the most frustrated I’ve been with either of them all summer.

I gave him some blueberries as a little snack because it was only about an hour and half until dinner.  I know that at this age, if they say they’re hungry they really are.  I figured at least I was giving him a healthy option and if it meant he ate a little less at dinner, oh well, it was fruit!  Ariel had some cantelope. 

When Tim came home he asked if I was going to try and get a job next summer.  Ha Ha.

After they were in bed, I got on the Wii Fit to weigh-in.  Gained 0.7 lbs.  This was in addition to the 2 lbs. I had supposedly gained this weekend.   

I went running. 

I ran. 

And it helped all of my frustration from the day just melt away.  I did my normal route in 28 minutes – usually it takes me at least 30.  I don’t know why I just discovered this whole running thing.  I wish I had figured out sooner how much I like it!  HA!

When I came back the boy was still crying in his crib.  Tim and I finished our strength training and yoga together and then I finally I went in to check on him.  He was instantaneously quiet when I walked in.  Hm, very suspicious.  Obviously there was nothing “wrong”.  He just wanted company.  Which I guess is ok every once in a while.  I calmed him down and then went to take a shower.  When I got out…..crying again.  I stayed a little longer this time, rubbing his back, waiting until he fell asleep.  I was glad I got to go for that run because it helped me keep my sanity for this.

Sometimes I feel so guilty when I’m frustrated.  Sometimes I feel so guilty when I’m favoring one over the other.  All day, Ariel was fine.  Happy, playing, cute.  And at times, I wished it was just her and I for a couple hours and that I didn’t have to deal with the other one.  I feel like I didnt even get to spend time with her because I was trying to figure out what in the hell was wrong with Will. 

Patience helps me get over my guilt I guess.  If I was snapping at them or showing my frustration, I would feel more guilty.  He wasn’t meaning to be frustrating and I just kept that perspective in mind all day.  I counted to 10 in my head.  A lot.  I used my patient-mommy voice.  Because if they know I’m frustrated, they get even more frustrated….which is even worse. 

I guess I’m just venting.  And bragging.  Because I kept my cool.  All Day Long.  And by the end of the day I don’t know how I did it.  And by the end of the day I was ready to get a part-time job not only for next summer, but maybe even the rest of this one.  🙂   This is now.

THEN:  Oh, the heartburn.  I didn’t have any all pregnancy.  I know it’s a symptom, so I wasn’t concerned.  At first.  It was a Thursday night.  I woke up with a pain in my chest.  Heartburn.  I tried sitting up a little in bed to ease the feeling.  It was not comfortable for my stomach.  I laid down again.  I sat up again.  I laid down again.  Finally, Tim woke up.  Kinda what I was aiming for, without having to actually wake him.  The feeling was becoming unbearable.  He got up and looked in the medicine cabinet to see if I could take anything.  I didn’t want to risk it.  Not yet.

So, he did what any normal person does in “this day in age”.  Looked on the internet.  Milk.  Crackers.  Sit up. 

I was so tired.  I just wanted to lay down in my bed.  I did not want to be drinking milk.  I did not want to be eating crackers.  I did not want to be sitting up.  I wanted to be sleeping. 

He went and got me some milk and crackers.

I ate and drank while sitting up in bed.  He laid back down.  What else was he supposed to do, right?  He fell asleep.  I tried laying down again.  Way worse.

I decided to go hang out in the rocking chair in one of the baby rooms.  It was the room we were going to put them both in at first when they came home.  I rocked and ate more crackers and thought about my little ones in my belly.  They were probably sleeping.  Just like my husband.  I kinda tried to rest my eyes.  I fell asleep a little bit, here and there, only a light sleep.  The pain was not really subsiding, even with milk and crackers and sitting up.  Oh well, it was just one night.  I could nap tomorrow. 

I tried not to worry about it.  Lots of people get heartburn while pregnant.  The internet said so. 

When Tim got up the next morning, early, I was still in the rocking chair.  Still awake.  The pain was still there.  What if something was wrong?  I hadn’t had heartburn this whole 7 months, why suddenly now?  We went downstairs and he asked if I wanted breakfast but I wasn’t hungry, I couldn’t eat.  It would hurt.  He suggested I call the doctor.  He never suggests I call the doctor.  I never call the doctor.  Doctors just tell you you’re fine and send you on your way and you feel stupid for even asking.  Just because I had heartburn all night and this morning was no reason to call the doctor.  He wasn’t even there yet, it was only 7 in the morning.  I was fine.  That was then.

5K Fever (No-Twin Tuesdays)

NOW: Ok, I am now definitely addicted to running.  Ran another 5K on Saturday morning.  2 hours before I was supposed to be leaving for a wedding.  It was a casual wedding….it’s not like I had to spend a ton of time doing hair and make up.  I’m not one to care what people think about me anyway.

So, my second 5K.  It. Was. Hot.  It was nice because the route was basically around my neighborhood.  There were 2 water stations this time…..but they gave little bottles of water which were kind of annoying to open.  Beggers can’t be choosers I guess. 

I am disappointed to say I walked like 4 times.  I blame Tim though.  🙂  He and the twins were waiting for me at one of the corners near our house.  I was really wanting to walk at that point but I knew he’d see me, so I kept pushing myself.  Well then, he’s flagging me over.  What?  What do you want?  How do you wash the stuffed animals?  In the (F***ing) washing machine!!!!  I understood why he did it.  The stuffed animals absolutely NEED to be washed and dried before naptime or Will freaks out.  Well, we weren’t going to be home!  So, they needed to be washed and dried before we left.  But still, come on, stopping to ask me that?  I’m gonna put instructions for everything taped to the washer and dryer from now on.  He didn’t want to be the one to destroy Mr. Bear by putting him on the wrong setting in the washer.  I explained later that it’s really only the dryer that matters – no heat, just air dry. 

I didn’t even get to say hi to the twins as I ran by.  Tim said he’s never coming to watch me again anyway because as soon as I kept going and didn’t stop, the twins were screaming MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MOMMY MOMMY!  So, at least until they’re old enough.

Then, because I had already slowed down once to talk to him, I figured it couldn’t hurt to walk a little bit.  To the red truck.  Only a few driveways.  So I did.  Then there was a downhill, so no more walking.  Then uphill…..OK a little more walking.  Downhill – no.  Uphill – a little.  Downhill – no.  Then there was a BIG uphill.  I thought about letting myself walk it but then I would be going twice as slow.  Obviously.  So I sprinted up the hill.   Then walked a little more.  The finish line was in sight but not the timer yet.  I was pretty bummed already and figured I wasn’t going to beat my time.  I think that’s one reason I allowed myself to walk so much.  When I saw the clock, it was at 33 minutes.  Wow!  I wasn’t that far off.  I sprinted a little more to try and beat my time anyway, but got there at 33 minutes, 30 seconds.  About 7 seconds slower than last time.  And I had walked a LOT more!  That must mean when I did run, I ran faster, right?  Right.  I was still mad at myself though.  Even if I had walked 1 less time, I would have beaten my previous time. 

We’re going to run another one mid-August.  We’ve been recruiting more people.  Suckers.  Tim’s one of them.  He vows that he’s going to try the next one.  It’s at the Erie County Fairgrounds, during the fair, so that’s AWESOME!!!!    Our friend, Kate, came to this one and says she definitely wants to run more too.  She and I are going to go running tonight.  She’s a little slower than me, but she has never really run before.  I figure even if I keep at her pace I’ll run the whole time without stopping to walk, so that would be a great way to build up my stamina. 

I love that a bunch of us are doing this together.  I had been running by myself anyway, just needed a catalyst to get me to sign up for “actual” runs.  And now that so many of our friends are joining in, it’s a lot of fun.  I’m not a competitive person usually, but this is something I am becoming competitive about.  Plus, Kate says she’ll run the Disney Marathon with me in 5 years, so it’s something else to plan/train for.  If we start planning now, we’re more likely to actually do it.  🙂 

And it’s something I’m doing for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I love living for my kids (and Tim).  I would do anything for any of them.  I feel like I was born to be their mother and I feel like I’m doing a Damn good job of it.  As I was running my first 5K, I said to myself “do it for them”.  But then, I realized…..No, I’m not doing it for them…..I’m doing it for me.  And if this is the way I can be selfish and do something that’s just for me, than at least it’s a healthy outlet.  I’m getting in shape.  I feel good.  And it’s a stress reliever.  And I’m doing it just for me.  Just to run.  Just because I like it.  It takes up time – it means sometimes Tim has to stay home a little more with the kids, or if he runs with me it will mean getting a babysitter for a couple hours.  But it’s my one way to be a little selfish.  This is now.

THEN:  I had quite a bit of trouble sleeping when I was pregnant too.  Probably everyone does.  The swelling in my ankles and feet and wrists and hands didn’t help.  I would try to prop my belly up on one pillow, and my feet up on another.  It wasn’t very comfortable.  Plus, my carpel tunnel would be extremely painful at night for some reason and I couldn’t really elevate my wrists. 

I tried many different pillows for my belly.  I tried regular pillows but they were too bulky.  A body pillow worked for a short time, but it was too bulky too.  I wanted something small enough to go under my belly for support, but not push me over.  I went back to regular pillows because I hated the body pillow.  Then I tried throw pillows from the couch because they were a little thinner, but they weren’t the right shape. 

I was very picky.  But I really wanted to get a good night’s sleep.  Once they were born it would probably be a long time before I slept through the night.  Plus, I had to rest.

I started taking naps in the afternoon too.  On the couch.  I think the way the cushions were just helped a little better with my belly.  And my ankles and wrists weren’t so swollen in the middle of the day.

But at night I wanted to be in my bed.  I didn’t want to sleep alone on the couch.  So I kept trying different pillows.  Finally, in July, we were at Babies R Us and I found a triangular pillow, meant to help with my problem.  I convinced Tim to buy it – it was a worthwhile investment even though no other pillows were working and he had little faith in this one.  But it was only like $12. 

It was like a miracle-worker.  This little ramp-shaped piece of foam was just what I needed.  I felt like Goldilocks – finally finding the one that was JUST RIGHT.  What a relief.  It was such a big help and even though I was still slightly uncomfortable and not totally sleeping through the night it definitely helped with the belly situation.  Now, if only there was some way to help the getting-up-to-pee-every-hour-situation.  That was then.

Back to Normal

NOW: This week has been so busy, but almost back to normal.

Monday and Tuesday we hung around at home.  On Monday my parents came over to watch the Sesame Place video and look at the pics, and then Tuesday Tim’s parents came over to watch.

Wednesday morning I had some errands to run so my dad came over to watch the kids until lunchtime.  It looked like a toy-hurricane hit my house while I was gone.  I’m not used to them playing inside so much!

Thursday was so stinkin’ hot that I decided to take the kids to swim in Papa’s Big Pool.   We had fun, and then went to lunch at a restaurant called Taffy’s – in Orchard Park.  The food was ok.  Just hamburgers, hot dogs, etc.  But it’s the milkshakes that I love.  They are so delicious!  I had chocolate-peanut-butter-coffee flavored.  YUM.

While we were gone last week we turned on the Air Conditioning for the dogs.  It was supposed to be hot, and for them to be stuck in the closed-up house for 4 days was not a good idea.  Well…….now the air is still on.  It’s been in the 90’s here, and I figured just for this week.  But we’re turning it off again Sunday.  I promise.

Today we went down the waterfront with my father-in-law.  He wanted to take the kids to see all the boats.  It was hot hot hot again……but fun to walk around.

I got lots of pictures but for some reason my computer is not cooperating with me, so I will add them soon.

We have a busy weekend too!  A wedding tomorrow.  Possibly Canal Fest or dinner Sunday.  We can’t get anything done around here because we’re always going going going!

Tomorrow morning I’m also running another 5K!  I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it.  I didn’t run the 2 days after Run for Rover, and then we were gone for 4, didn’t exercise for those 4 or the day after.  On Monday we were still so tired we did some step aerobics and that’s it.  Tuesday we ran inside for 30 minutes…..I was supposed to run the course for Saturday but my friend that was going to go with me decided it was too humid, so I backed out too and ran inside.  Wednesday I ran the course – which is right near my house!  It was hot and I ran with a friend of mine.  We walked a little more often than I would have liked, but it was ok.  I ran yesterday too, even though it was 94 degrees outside.  I did the course in a little over 34 minutes.  I felt like I walked a lot, but that’s ok because I need to save some energy for Saturday anyway.  And 34 minutes is only a minute off my time from the 10th. 

I wasn’t sure because we do have that wedding to go to.  It’s at a State Park, near Dunkirk, so about an hour and a half drive.  It starts at 1, babysitter coming at 11.  But, the run starts at 9:30, and it’s right around the corner, so I should have plenty of time to shower and get ready.  It’s a casual wedding, so I’m not going to have to work too hard on my hair and makeup.  It should be fine.  And I really wanted to run!  So, I am.  I’ll keep updating as much as possible this weekend – and definitely talk more about our trip to the waterfront today!  This is now.

THEN: I had major major swelling in my feet, ankles, legs, wrists, and hands when I was pregnant.  Especially once it started getting hot outside. 

I couldn’t even wear any of my shoes.  I went to Old Navy and bought men’s size flip flops because they had more room. 

I couldn’t wear my wedding or engagement rings. 

By the end of each day I looked like the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.

I asked my doctor, but he said it was normal, especially in the heat and with carrying twins.  But he did say I should try to take it as easy as possible.  Sit, or even lay down as much as I could.  A lot of the time I would spend my evenings with my feet propped up, sometimes with ice packs on my ankles.  That would help the swelling go down a bit. 

I developed carpel-tunnel syndrome.  Also a normal pregnancy symptom.  Chances are, I have carpel tunnel anyway, but it just wasn’t showing itself yet.  But with the swelling in my wrists and fingers, it was cutting off some nerves and causing the carpel tunnel to flare up.  My hands ached constantly.

So basically, even if I wanted to do stuff, or even if my doctor had not said to rest……I had to anyway.  It was hard to walk.  It was uncomfortable and painful.  My hands were in constant pain, especially if I did anything where I had to use them.

Try not using your hands or feet for a couple of months.  Not the easiest thing.  And I’m not really the type of person who wants to take it easy.  I felt helpless.  I knew I was doing it for the good of the babies, which is the only reason I didn’t just push myself through the pain and continue my normal tasks. 

Of course, I couldn’t just constantly sit at home.  So I borrowed a wheelchair that my mom had because it used to be my grandpa’s.  I may have drawn a few looks while Tim pushed me around, but I didn’t care.  I even started using the automatic carts at Wegmans so that I could still go grocery shopping with Tim sometimes. 

There was a special exhibit at the science museum in the summer – The Human Body.  I really wanted to go, but I knew it would be way too much walking.  We brought the wheelchair.  Tim pushed me around as we looked at all of the displays.  We went on a weekday so it wasn’t too crowded, and Tim’s mom came with us.  I was so glad I was still able to go.  I was so grateful to Tim for pushing me around in the wheelchair.

Another event I refused to miss was the Erie County Fair.  I have been going every year since before I was born.  Yes, I went when my mother was pregnant with me.  It’s one of my most favorite places, mostly for nostalgic reasons.  I usually go 2 or 3 times……I knew this year I would only go once, and might not even stay the whole day.  But I was GOING.  Tim agreed to push me around in the wheelchair again.  Our children got to go before they were born.  It was hot.  I was swelled up like a balloon halfway through the day even without walking.  We stayed until dinnertime (that’s the best part!) I could barely get out of the wheelchair and into the car because my feet and ankles had swelled up so much.  We had to stop at my parents house to get something and my mom was shocked.  She couldn’t believe the swelling.  I brushed it off.  It was no big deal.  I’ll mention it to the doctor again when I go next week.  She made Tim promise that I would put my feet up with ice packs as soon as we got home.  Believe me, that was the plan.  That was then.

I RAN MY 1ST 5K!!!!

NOW:   A little over a month ago, a friend of mine, Katie, did the Breast Cancer Walk (5K).  She insisted she was just going to walk, with her friend Alicia.  Once she got there, another friend, Laura, convinced her to run.  I saw her later that day and was so impressed!  She seemed so proud and happy.  And not keeled over!  She mentioned she was doing another 5K in July, and I decided maybe I would join her.  And hopefully not keel over.

I had still been debating up until like yesterday.  I am really kinda busy right now – our anniversary is today (Happy 7 years, Tim!!), we are getting ready for a trip to Sesame Place, and just general craziness is ensuing.  Katie brought me the paperwork last Thursday and said she would even drive me down.  As of yesterday I still even almost called it off.  I just felt so overwhelmed with “stuff”.

But I didn’t.


This is me before the run.  I am so thrilled that I got a free bag AND water bottle!  I love free bags especially.  Good thing Tim wasn’t with me because I might not have been allowed to take it.  HA!

Katie and I:

We got there pretty early.  We hadn’t pre-registered so we wanted to make sure we had plenty of time.  There were vendors set up so we walked around a little bit after registering.  The 5K was called “Run for Rover” and it benefited an organization that gives emergency help to veterinarians.  There was also a 1K after the 5K that you could take your dogs on… there were LOTS of dogs there, and lots of vendors selling pet supplies. 

Katie’s husband, Erich, also came to run.  Lucky for me too, because otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten any pictures!  I don’t have a cool phone like he does!

      Katie’s friend, Alicia, was also there!


We walked back and forth to the car a couple of times also, to drop off our bags and water bottles.  Erich shared a Gatorade Pre-workout energy pouch with me.  We also saw a couple of other friends there; Vez and Laura. 

Just minutes before the race – we’re ready!!!

Then, we were on our way!!!  I had set the Wicked soundtrack to play on my iPod while running.  Some of the songs are a little slower, but I’d rather have familiar music than music I don’t know.  Sometimes when I’m running around the neighborhood a song will pop up that Tim recommended and that I’m sure I would like, but I don’t know the words to it and it is much less motivating and distracting.  So, I decided to go with what I know.  I also started the pedometer on the iPod just as I started, to compare my time to my “official” time. 

When we got there, it was slightly overcast, but the sun did keep peeking out from behind the clouds.  It was hot, but a little more pleasant for running when the sun was hiding.

Mile 1: About halfway through mile 1 I really started to feel tired, but there was no way I was going to walk yet.  I run more than that around my house, or even on the Wii Fit.  So I promised myself I wouldn’t walk until at least the first mile mark.  The first mile was a small loop around the park.   I didn’t pass any water stations until I was almost back at the start line and that made me a little nervous.  So, even though I didn’t quite need water yet, I grabbed some as I went past, just before the 1 mile mark.  Good thing I did!  No more water stations!  And I can’t stand to carry anything in my hands as I run.  I can’t even stand to have my engagement/wedding rings on as I’m exercising!  The other thing that was a little annoying was that a few people  had brought their dogs to the run.  I almost tripped over the dogs a couple of times!  I felt bad feeling aggravated, but I really wanted to do well and didn’t need any obstacles!  When I passed the first mile a volunteer yelled out my time: 10:56.  Pretty good.  Pretty much the pace I keep normally so that was good.  I knew I didn’t have to walk yet.  I often get a cramp in my side as I run, but I wasn’t feeling that, so I decided I would try to run until the mile 2 mark.

Mile 2: The second mile was a bigger loop around the park as well as a little curve down a side street and back.  I hit a downhill slope and at first I tried not to go too fast, not wanting to tire myself out.  But then I thought that I should probably take advantage of the downhill and go a little faster!!!  So, I did.  There was a more pronounced uphill area but I was still feeling pretty good.  It was short, and I just told myself, ‘if there’s an uphill, there’s a downhill’.  Which worked.  By the time I reached the 2 mile mark, my legs were feeling pretty numb.  But they weren’t hurting and I didn’t have that cramp in my side and I didn’t feel short of breath (in a bad way).  But I almost walked.  I knew it would be ok.  I stop and walk about 4 times during my runs at home and I hadn’t stopped yet.  I convinced myself that if I wasn’t hurting in any way, there was no reason to walk yet, wait until I REALLY needed to.  So, I kept running, past the 2 mile mark.

Mile 3: As I started the last mile, that’s what I had to keep telling myself “only 1 more mile, you can do it”.  It’s a good thing I like to talk to myself so much.  But, I was really feeling tired.  And the sun was suddenly really beating down on me.  I thought, “but it’s so much better to call Tim and tell him I ran the WHOLE way”, rather than, “oh, I had to walk near the end”.  So, I kept running.  When I saw Alicia’s car that really helped motivate me – hadn’t I walked back and forth to that car 3 times before the race started?  No big deal, right?  Then, I could see the finish line.  Well, so sense in walking now.  So I didn’t.  As I neared the finish line I heard Vez and Laura cheering for me.  I smiled and passed the finish in 33:11 according to the big time clock.  Laura pointed out that we didn’t start in the first line of people though, so I could probably shave a little off of that time.  My iPod said 33:23 though, but I did get that started a little late too, and didn’t stop it exactly at the finish line.  So, I don’t know.  But I did know that I was pretty F***ing proud of myself! 

Erich was going to get a pic of me crossing the finish line, but he hadn’t seen me on the course and figured I was further back.  Oh well, we got some good “after” pictures anyway.  Out of our group, Erich was first, then Laura, Vez, Me, Katie, Alicia.  We all swapped running stories and headed back to the car to grab some waters and Gatorades and stuff. 

We all headed over to the pavilion for pizza and fresh fruit and a group photo!

What a rush!  I was so proud of everyone!  And so proud of myself.  If I wasn’t addicted to running before, I sure am now.  We were already talking about finding a 5K for sometime in August.  Maybe Tim will even run with us next time!

As if that wasn’t enough, my friends then dropped me off to meet Tim, Steve, and all of the kids over at the Taste of Buffalo.  Which was good because I was starving, but bad because it meant a lot of walking in the heat!  It was already 86 degrees out!

Plus, Tim was at the opposite end of where I was.  So first, I had to walk all the way down to find him.

I wasn’t as tired or sore as I thought I might be though.  My back was hurting a little, but it’s kind of always in that state.  I think I was still on such a natural high from running that a little ol’ thing like walking was no biggie.  I was going to take my race number off, but then decided to wear it.  I like to brag like that.


So I don’t know if you have a “taste” type event in your city, but it’s pretty nice here in Buffalo.  Basically, you buy tickets; we got 80 tickets, which cost us $40.  Local restaurants have booths set up with 3-5 menu items, each different ticket prices.  Each booth needs to offer one of their items at the “taste” price, which is a smaller version for 4 tickets.  There are also drink stations, wine stations, dessert booths.  It’s a great way to get a variety of foods that either you might not try otherwise, or you don’t have the money/time to go out to dinner every night of the week!

Our first stop was Papaya.  It’s Thai cuisine, and we got braised short ribs and calamari.  Later Tim revisited the stand to get Spring Rolls as well.  It was nice having Steve there because we all shared, so we got twice as much!  We shared with the kids too. 

It was definitely one of the best booths there, and a restaurant that we keep meaning to go to, but we just haven’t had the time. 

In all, we probably tried items from 15 different restaurants.  Some other highlights included Chester’s Cajun Grille (which we CANNOT pass up) and 31 Club; which had an amazing Arancini in marinara sauce or gorgonzola sauce.  The twins and Eliza tried a little bit of everything.  Will really liked the rice from Chester’s, which was actually kind of spicy.  Ariel enjoyed some lobster bisque – which she has had several times and always enjoys (expensive taste!).  And they ALL loved the Chocolate Banana – although I hate most of the chocolate because the banana was frozen and they couldn’t really bite it.  So, I was biting off bits, taking them out of my mouth, and feeding them to the kids.  It was like feeding baby birds (but not quite regurgitation).


It’s true what they say though – if you eat slower, you feel more full.  Halfway through I was already feeling pretty full and I had only, literally, had a couple bites of each dish.  I’m sure the heat helped with that too, though.  This is now.

THEN: We had decided we weren’t going to tell anyone the sexes of the babies.  That lasted all of 1 hour.  The thing is, I just knew I was going to slip up and say He or She when talking about them.  Plus, I had originally said I didn’t want pink or blue.  But that was before I knew I could have pink AND blue.  If I was having two girls or two boys I would have been overwhelmed (read: sick of) pink OR blue, but having both was ok.  It would be easier to register for certain things and easier for people to splurge on other things if they knew we were having a boy and a girl.

We stopped immediately after the sonogram to see both sets of parents (soon-to-be-grandparents) and share the exciting news and the pictures of our little babies’ private parts from the sonogram.  🙂  Of course, they immediately wanted to know if we had discussed names.  We had discussed.  We didn’t have it narrowed down.  But, that really was going to stay a secret.  Really.

Well, they were a little disappointed with that answer.  We really wanted to stick with that decision though.  Everyone has an opinion.  I didn’t want anyone giving their opinion and making us doubt our name choices.  Once they were born it would be too late to question. 

Once we knew what those babies “were” I told Tim I really wanted to know their names.  I wanted to talk to them and call them by name.  I wouldn’t mistakenly call them their names in front of other people.  Plus, it would be our little secret, a private knowledge between husband and wife (and the dogs, but they wouldn’t spill the beans either).  I didn’t necessarily want to rush the decision, but it really bothered me that we didn’t know their names yet.  So it became a constant discussion.  Like all rational people we made a list.  We consulted the internet for ideas.  We made a spreadsheet with pros and cons.  That was then.